In Love With The Monsters That’s Under My Bed

I know I know…I disappear for a year and comeback and bombard your feed! BUT it’s my gram! So LET ME LIVE MY LIFE 😡

Anyways! Tantrum aside..today Cici was part of the Encanto theatre show, which i didn’t know it was happening until my sister messaged at 8:30 (it already started) so I left immediately and managed to reach before Cici went to stage…

and its A HUGE deal for her when I show up! And the one day that I said I’ll come and fell sick, she literally ate my brain for 2 months after 😭

So she wasn’t expecting to see me, and her happiness levels were above the roof…those shots are from after the show when we went to her class to pick her up, and I told her that we will take both her and her friend Avery to go back to her home to play, and I WILL TAKE THEM IN MY CAR! Which is such a big deal for cici! Even tho i have the shittiest rental in the land, but for her taking her friend in her auntie’s car is such an experience, and we got to play I spy with my little eye all the way back home…so in return I got the most genuine and loving hug any human can ask for as a thank you.

Man…I’m really getting older but this is such a nice phase in my life! Like yes I’m no longer in my 20’s, yes I have now more white hairs than I like to admit, and yes I did tear up when I saw cici on the stage like yet another proud middle aged woman 😂😂😂 but I can’t even begin to explain how much I’m loving this! Every single bit of it is such an experience! Even having their tooth brushes next to mine at my place for when they come for sleepovers make me smile every day when I see that, and I love sleepovers at their place where they know that my morning coffee time is sacred and cici actually have the patience to sit next to me with no ipad or anything and we just chitchat till I finish my coffee (which I always take my sweet time doing), and I love playing Roblox surviving 99 nights at the forest where I lose my shit on them because they make me waste my bandage on them because I need to revive them as they died from starvation 😭 I actually started playing that game without them and I managed to survive 160 days which I brag about whenever their friend/neighbor who’s 9 years old come over for all of us to play and I make sure to state that I survived 160 days and that their 30 days survival rate is actually pathetic 🤷🏻‍♀️ and I love taking them on a pool day where they are grown up enough now to know that Leeno needs relaxation time so you go play and let me have my piece of mind, and I love when they take turns of choosing what music we play in my car and it goes like this:

Adam (Avangard)

Cici (Roar)

Adam (Avangard)

Cici (It’s raining tacos)

Adam (Avangard)

Cici (Belong together)

Adam (Avangard)

Cici (Golden)

Adam (Avangard)

Cici (Soda pop)

Hahahah i memorized them by heart that now i don’t even ask, I just start playing them 😂

Not gonna lie that “It’s raining tacos” is my favorite out of them all! And sometimes I want to play it while I’m alone but then I tell myself woman! You’re 32 years old!

Fun fact: the first ever song in my life that I loved was “ It’s raining men — Geri Halliwell) so technically I just replaced men with tacos 🤷🏻‍♀️ #priorities!!!

And I love that they feel towards me exactly how I feel towards them! They don’t love me because of materialistic things that I provide, as the truth is I don’t have much to offer on that aspect, but I give them something that no money can buy and that is my time! I am present when I’m with them and when I don’t want to be present i tell them I want to go on my phone and have me time, give me space! And they now understand! They grew up so much that now when I come after a long day and sit with them and ask how was the birthday that they’ve been to, they actually would put pause on the ipad or whatever they are watching on TV, to give me an entire detailed update of what went down, who do we like? Who we don’t like? What did they eat? What was the theme of the birthday? I actually ask! I don’t leave a detail left unanswered because I actually care! Like I actually enjoy those details! Man I’m so blessed and lucky to have them in my life that even writing this made me smile the whole way through.

I even love their Nanny because of how she treats them, she cares, she’s educated, she’s patient and she’s respectful and for me it means the world that the woman who spends alot of time with the kids is THAT! So for me Alyn is family, for me she’s not “The Nanny” she’s Alyn who’s job is a Nanny just like I’m Lin who’s job is SEO 😭 but that doesn’t define who she is, and unfortunately I can’t control the messed up state of the world but I’m in control of how I deal with her, and I try to be as respectful and considerate as possible, like for example I was the one who pitched the idea of Dubai run early November and I completely forgot about it, and on the day before I was at their house in the morning and Alyn tells me that its tomorrow, and I said no I’m sure its next weekend, turns out she’s right! And I can see how much she wanted to be part of “THE BIGGEST RUN IN THE WORLD” so even though it wasn’t in my plans, but I said yeah lets do it! And went out with my plans for the day and came back to sleep over so we can go down early morning, and I know that she can’t tell me directly that she’d realllyyyy like to go (even though i don’t know why not) but I can see how much she likes to from the way she was insisting that it’s actually tomorrow 😂 and I’m sooo glad that we went because WHAT AN EXPERIENCE! Other than that I actually never like taking Alyn with us when I take the kids out (unless if its an experience that I know she’d get to enjoy too), not because I don’t like Alyn quite the opposite, but because I like giving her a break from the kiddos, and for me since I don’t get the chance to see them every day, I don’t want when i see them to have someone else responsible for them, I like to handle it all, and I like for our quality time to be just us ❤️

And I love how I make a big deal when they say bad words, and the fact that they think the “S” word stands for “Shut up” 😇 it’ll be funny when they’ll grow up and manage to see the conent i post on socials or even read my articles and they’ll realise their aunty never runs out of slurs of bad words 😂😂

The only thing I don’t love is sleeping next to Adam, OMG on the dubai run day he went to sleep on the sofa bed (where i was supposed to sleep) before we came back home at night, and I had no option but to share the sofa bed with him and let me tell you! I’ve never been violated this much in my life! I literally went to sleep by 12 and woke up by 4:30 am and messaged the Family group that I’ve been through physical abuse! I’ve never been punched and kicked this much in my life! His foot literally kicks my head! And don’t even ask me how it reached there! And also he keeps on squishing me till I have like 15 cm space next to the edge of the bed and he sleeps horizontal 😭 yeah that is one thing i definitely don’t love and the next sleep over I’ll just sleep on the floor next to their toys and call it a day as that would be 100% more comfortable than sleeping next to Adam.

And to wrap up, I know that people would say oh wait until you have your own kids, you’ll love them ten folds. But the truth is I never wanted to have kids, not when I was young and not now, and everyone tells me I’ll regret it, but honestly is it my life or yours? Because I think I’ll regret way more bringing kids to this world when I don’t want to be the parent for them that they deserve.

so I think I’m very happy and satisfied in being the coolest auntie in the land! And I don’t need more than Adam and Celine, and if god has another plan for me, then so be it! Who knows but I know for now, for this chapter in my life, Princess Duck and Adam poop faced toilet Butt (he loves to insert those words in all sentences 😂) are more than enough for me.

So yeah….I’m in love with those little monsters ❤️