F* Society, F* Corporates & F* you! (NO MORE NOISE!🙅🏽‍♀️)

What if I had listened to you, to society, to family, to corporate bosses, to the fears/demons in my head?

Who I would have become?

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2018 I had a mental breakdown at work, everything around me suffocated me that I had to run away, I went to Nepal and it was the first time I travelled Solo (without any aim or plan) and it changed my life.

It taught me how to enjoy my own company, how traveling solo can actually be just as fun as with friends and sometimes even better and it’s not an either/or situation.

It taught me that life doesn’t wait, and when I really want to do something then I should just go ahead and do it, and not wait for anyone, and to not ask for permission.

Ever since that trip, I travelled so much maybe 22 countries (trust me thats ALOT for a Syrian Passport) some places I repeated (Turkey x4, Georgia x3, Nepal x4…etc), I progressed in my career and climbed up the hierarchy, in 2023 my salary reached 29k in a fully remote job (but dubai bound) doing a role that they created for me just so they convince me to stay, I couldn’t stay! The noise inside of my head was too loud to keep it quiet, so I quit!

October 2023

I sold my car for cheap (and gave the money to a stranger 😭😭STUPID!!!) sold my entire apartment furniture worth 15k for 200 Dirhams, sent all of my clothes to Mom in Syria to give it away (I thought I won’t need more than shorts flipflops and bikinis…cried 3 months later needing to go to an interview in flipflops😭) packed my life up in a suitcase and moved to Bali as it has always been the dream.

Had two months of Hell in Bali, the demons that I was running away from turns out they are within me, turns out Dubai is not the issue…I’m the issue…I had a full collapse!

dragged myself back to Dubai, but I came back to nothing as I gave away everything!

I stayed in my sister’s spare room for 4 months, the room doesn’t have a lock and its the kids play room! So you can imagine what Barging in at 6 am in full swing feels like, I couldn’t find a job even though I tried so hard for 4 months, I went to Syria not knowing if I’ll be back or not.

March, 2024

2 weeks in my trip to Syria, got an interview while in syria for a position that I applied and got rejected automatically for 3 months prior, I got the job, i negotiated during the interviews and they paid me 30k. I got a “Head” salary for a “manager” job, in one of the most beautiful offices in Dubai in the fanciest area in town, I was ecstatic!

I wanted to pay them back for how grateful I was for them giving me this opportunity, that I went full on showing them all of my powers from day one, everything that can be improved, fixed, I wanted to do things, solve things… the full package.

Unfortunately, I pissed off so many people because I wanted to do the right thing, I also was being myself (fun, jokes…etc *I come from an agency background)

I became a threat to the mediocre useless humans, unintentionally!

June, 2024

I got fired only 1 month in for not being a “cultural fit”

Couldn’t find a job for so many months after even though I’m insanely talented, like literally the 1% in my field in Dubai (not that any companies do give a shit about quality of work, what matters is clout and politics and the shittier of a human you are the higher of a position you get).

Burning through my savings, I tried to do my own business, the idea was solid but logistics were hell, all doors were shut in my face no matter what i tried!

January, 2025

I reached a point that I’m in a debt to the bank, I don’t have money to eat or pay my upcoming rent, I saw an opportunity at “corporate from hell” for 19k, for “manager” role and I was a manager 6 years ago, so it was a 11k downgrade salary wise and massive downgrade position wise.

It didn’t matter i just needed to survive and pass through the severe depression that I was going through.

Fast-forward October/November 2025, divine intervention, I got out of depression, quit corporate from hell and I’m back in full force, filled with energy and life 🙏 #grateful

planning for the next chapter in my life and I know damn well it will be one of the best I’ve ever lived and that everything I’ve been through before was only to prep me for whats to come and it’ll be A HELL OF AN ADVENTURE.

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So now, let me ask you…what are you waiting for? What are you fearing? Whats the worst thing that can happen? You fail? You fall?

Big deal! Its part of life… how else you’ll grow? How else you’ll reach your true potential? How else you’d find the answer to the question that’s been eating you alive for so long….Why am I here? What’s the purpose?

You won’t know unless you try.

You won’t know what mind blowing experiences you’re missing out on if you keep on saying no no no I’m too scared, too uncomfortable, too sweaty, too tired.

How else you’ll feel alive if you don’t jolt your system with an adrenaline rush every once in a while?

You won’t know your next favorite dish if you keep on eating the only food you grew up to! if you just get disgusted without even trying! How about you try one bite! Take one sip! And then say its disgusting and then that’s valid.

You won’t know what you love doing if you keep on looking at hobbies and thinking…maybe I’m not capable!

Well who said I’m capable of playing tennis? PS5? Drawing on Procreate? Crypto shitcoins trading and getting rekt but I learned so much! Cooking? While yes I don’t cook because for me its a passion and not a duty, but when I do…it’s sooooooo gooooooooood!

How else would’ve known that if i didnt try few recipes and failed yet still ended it up eating the food while crying? And I decided I want to become a herbalist (because of pinterest) and I got 10 plants and I tried for 1 week and then they died 😭 so I decided I’ll put this plan on hold until I have time to actually research what every plant needs to survive in the harsh environment of my apartment hahaha.

And I have two guitars and I can’t even play hahahah! So mostly they are decoration items 😂 but I sooo want to become a guitar player! Because I also find them sexy, like tennis players.

So if I actually become a guitar player and I’m already improving in tennis…ooooofffffff 2026 is the year I buy the domain:

hotbomb.com

My hobbies change literally every 2–3 months and thats also because I have commitment issues and sometimes I just lose interest, but I KEEP ON TRYING!

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How else I’ll know what I want in a partner, if i haven’t tried and got heart broken so many times to know now what I “don’t want”?

How will you meet your bestest friends of all time and the ones that make life worth living and sharing, if you don’t pass beyond the “how is the family and weather” convo?

Until when you’ll look at influencers, creators, celebrities, CEOs, Tech nerds and say…I wish I was them! I know I can be them, but I’m too scared.

Scared of what? Society?

Now that you’re grown ass adult that definitely have passed through sooo much shit!!

How many minutes a day you spend thinking about others? 5,10,15? That’s it maximum! And those you think about are the closest people to you.

So why would I worry about what my neighbour in aleppo who I haven’t seen in 10 years would think about me when I post that story ranting, showing my tattoos (which my entire society heavily judge and label me for) …why do they matter?

Why do my relatives matter?

Why does anyone matter? Like why? Who are they? Who gave them the authority to tell me how to live my life?

Did they live the life I want? Did they crush their comfort zone like I do? Did they reject society pressure to get married just for the sake of getting married? Did they say “No I don’t want kids” because they know it in their heart its not their destiny to have kids!

The answer to all of the above is. NO!

I don’t know anyone around me, close, extended, met once in my life (and this is maybe around a thousand people), that I looked at and I was like I want to live their life.

So the life you live, is not the life I want. Meaning your opinion and expertise are valid for your experience but not mine, so unless I specifically seek for your advice, please keep it to yourself and judge me in your heart just like I judge you in my heart for your boring ass unfulfilling life!

Even though I was always bold, daring, stubborn, a rebel, breaking barriers right and left…even then!

I always couldn’t silence their noise, it always creeped into my head and made me think “ why am i different? What is wrong with me?” And i was always convinced that there’s definitely something wrong as i am not “normal” in any way shape or form that society specifies “normal”.

But i don’t want to be “normal” it bores me to death, it kills my fire and i honestly would rather not exist over living the “normal” experience.

I tried normal for one year btw (2025), while yes I was depressed so it wasnt by choice, but i tried being quiet at work, nodding to stupid higher ups, not speaking up because i have no energy, being mediocre at work, 9 hours behind a desk but not doing anything, just locked up in a cage, boring evening because i’m too tired/depressed to do anything, boring weekend, boring watercooler conversation about your boring ass plans, your boring marriage and drama that you complain about and eat our brains with.

I don’t want that “Normal” life. PERIOD.

So

FUCK CORPORATES

FUCK 9–5

FUCK SOCIETY

FUCK STUPID HIGH TITLE PEOPLE

FUCK OPINIONATED BORING BITCHES

FUCK FAKE MATERIALISTIC PEOPLE

FUCK YOUR DOUBLE STANDARDS

FUCK PRESSURED MARRIAGE

FUCK HAVING KIDS IF YOU’RE NOT CAPABLE

And FUCK YOU! for making me think I was wrong for so long, only to realise that there’s no right or wrong, there’s “me” and there’s “you” and each one of us have a different life experience, path and destination.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve wasted soo many years of my life listening to you, and now it’s my time to speak and take up space, and whether you listen or not, honestly…I DON’T GIVE TWO SHITS 🫶

I’m fed up from following the rules, and I’ll start making them. MY OWN RULES the ones that probably have never been done before, but who is the one that make the rules anyways? It’s yet another human, so why can’t it be me?

At least for my life, I’ll be the protagonist.

*And for the record, the odds of me saying Fuck it and moving abroad again is very likely! Like VERY LIKELY! even if Bali was a fail there’s a gazillion other places that I’d love to go to, the only difference this time would be:

1. Secure my base (Dubai is home) as thats where my family is.

2. Do not sell my items/give it away for nothing.

3. Secure an income source.

4. Actually secure multiple income sources because I want to travel back and forth, I don’t want to stay away from my family and friends for extended period of times, I want to be involved in their lives but also I want to live mine. And while that means alot of flying and god how much I hate flying 😭 but…sometimes we got to suffer for the things we love.

If I got those four sorted, then I’ll probably not be in Dubai for half of the year if not more, there’s alot to see! Alot to experience! And I wont wait until I’m in my 60’s to retire and go start living, FUCK THAT.

Shush yourself 🤫 and Peace out!