Lin, Leen and Everything in Between

Hi, I’m Lin…but actually you should say it as “Leen” stretch them Eeee’s.

then why do you write it as Lin? Well…you need to ask the officer that created my passport who 99.9% doesn’t speak English, so for him لين sounds like Lin 🤷🏻‍♀️ I mean he doesn’t care does he? I’m yet another document to be processed before he carries on his Sobhyeh with his colleagues.

For the first 20 years of my life I was Leen, on socials I was leen, everywhere I was Leen and life was good as everywhere in Syria whenever you need to use your name in a written format for anything then you write it in Arabic.

Then I went to continue my studies in Malaysia and here where I started needing to put “Lin” everywhere! So on the class attendance sheet that you sign and pass I was Lin, so my classmates when they look me up on Socials and can’t find any Lin’s as I’m Leen, then I’d have to go through this convo over and over again, so I got fedup and made the official switch to Lin.

But the reality is, I never identify as Lin, like that sound soo unlike me! But I got so used to it that everyone at work or any person I meet who is a foreigner they call me Lin and I respond normally, but they don’t notice that when I introduce my self I actually alway say:

Leen Aljabri

And the name Lin is so gender neutral and a very famous Chinese Male name that I always get emails addressing me as Sir Lin 😭 here goes all of my feminine energy activation efforts.

Also fun story, one time when I was working at the agency, I was managing a global airline’s paid accounts across all Asian markets:

China, Japan, Korea & Russia

And don’t even ask how on earth someone who doesn’t speak the language manage to launch ads, because even I don’t know!

I google translated and bluffed my way through life, anyways one day we needed to setup a call with a Chinese 3rd party and the chinese local station manager at the airline and…Me.

So I joined and my name is showing Lin, and the thing is this call was for them to align and me just to make sure it happens, so I just joined and said hello and they got talking.

And immediately the language switches…they went full Mandarin! And I’m there 🤔😵‍💫🫤🫨😧

Zero clue what’s going on but the conversation was flowing so I didn’t want to intrude as anyways I was attending to make sure they’re aligned.

Half an hour in, they finish…I say in English:

Guys, everything is aligned and you’ve agreed on the next steps?

I hear a resounding “yes”

I say:

Okay brilliant, for the record I don’t speak Mandarin, it’s just my name is Lin.

And everyone died laughing 😂😂

Ahhh…the amount of times that when i travel and book hotels and they’re expecting a Chinese old man only for a Petit Syrian girl to show up and create confusion…wait! Where’s Mr.Lin? Is he joining you later? Umm…I’m Mr.Lin please check-me in quick as I REALLYYYY need to pee, thank you very much.

Around 5 months ago, the corporate place where I was working they asked me to follow a test account on social, and those people have no clue about me, as in like who I am truely as I kept it super professional and I only speak work related with them and thats it.

So how will they go find my instagram account as: Findingleeeno 😭 where will my aura go? Especially that it’s named after finding nemo! The kids disney movie 😭

So I went and changed it to @linjabri and bruv! That was disgusting! It felt like an identity suicide i only lasted two days and then went back to my default silly setting of: findingleeeno 😂

Even the meaning behind it! Here take a look at the difference:

I’m a linear foot!😭😭 and I hate feet😭😭

Btw, my mom wanted to name me “Yasmin” and dad wanted “Ola” or “Alaa”

But my sister had a bestfriend called “Leen” so she threw a tantrum and forced them to name me “Leen” and they did.

Funny though that they were excited to have a boy, and to name him after my grandpa “Sakher” meaning “Solid Rock” but instead they got “Leen” which is tender, soft and delicate hahahaha and then they blame me for the duality in my personality!

There’s a saying:

“Every person has a share in their name”

Meaning that the name you get, reflects on you through out your life, and Ironically due to my Childhood upbringing I was living like a solid rock! Representing the name they were manifesting for me, but it never felt like thats who I truly am! It always felt like I’m putting on an armor but inside I’m actually super delicate!

But as I grew up, I started dropping that armor down, and now I’m “Leen” a soft, delicate, sensitive and emotional kind of gal! I was always like this, I just never wanted to show it.

But now I actually believe being vulnerable is such a trait of strength! Crying requires such courage! Because it makes you appear raw infront if others so its not easy to do at all, and mostly we try to hold it in to appear strong, to not show weakness.

But I don’t care anymore! Not at all! I resigned from that corp job last week and when I had a meeting with the big boss I cried, I cried because I was talking about how other women were being bullied by One evil woman in the office, how she was bullying the juniors based on their physical appearance, so I cried and said, I was a bully when I was a kid and the emotional damage and insecurities that I caused others, I still regret until this day and I’m 32 years old now.

So it breaks my heart to see adult women having to go through this terror and abuse! And everybody is quiet about it…I was quiet there for 9 months literally barely talking few words a day, but it reached a point where either I put an end for the abuse that was going around by that woman or nobody will.

So I did, what I do best…and I flipped the tables on top of their heads and I resigned and left, and my exit wasn’t quiet at ALL! And probably it’ll go down in the history books of that company 🤷🏻‍♀️

Because..that’s how Leen is! A warrior who can bring down the strongest most authoritative opponents because I’m a “solid rock” but at the same time I’m stupidly kind, super emotional, and I cry when I see an old man who’s still working through his old age, I cry when I see my neice and nephew growing up, I cry every time I hug my mom goodbye even though she raised me thinking that crying is weakness, but she knows that she was fighting it her entire life, and I don’t want to fight it, I want to give her the most squishiest hug that all of my emotions and feelings will transfer to her, and yeah I do cry when I do that, because I love her from the bottom of my heart, and hugging her goodbye always makes me sad, as I never know if its the last.

Anyways, I’m embracing my “Leen” side and while i don’t ever think I’ll go switch it officially to “Leen” as thats such a logistical nightmare, but those who I’ll interact with more than once will surely know that I’m Leen, and the rest can call me “Lin” as i don’t care really about them to correct it so I can be a “Chinese Linear foot” for them, that’s fine.

But also for different people I’m different types of Leen:

Leeno, LP, Lino Pino, Ja3neen, Leeeeeenaaaaa, Leeno JZ, LJ…etc.

Anything but:

Lulu🤮

I’ll leave you with a hilarious video that represents my character when I was in High school! And that’s not Lin or Leen, that’s Ja3far 🧔🏽