The Nonchalant Queen

Today’s story is not entirely about me…it’s about a girl that once was my bestest friend in the land, I miss her so much but I grew up enough to know that not all those who we love are destined to stay for the rest of our lives, some come change your life and go.

For every single time we laughed, we danced “inspector gadget”, we napped in cars, we fought and then I forced you out of your mood because we are just a toxic family hahaha, for every movie night, series night whatever night it is where we each had our own corners on the sofa, for every new villas drive thru’s because we didn’t have any thing else to do…

for all of my clothes that you took and I never even noticed until I saw you coming back to my place wearing them…THE AUDACITY hahaha!

For my christmas Pyjama that you just claimed even it was gifted for me, but does that even matter? You just take everything you want and I just laugh!!!

For every time I cooked potato curry, forced you to try new food that became your favorite, for all the bubble teas, and the Pinterest looking fruit platters that i made, for every time you piled up your work load because you are just lazy and came to me to make puppy eyes: “But linopino I don’t know how to do it” and I end up finishing all the tasks for you, while you sit and watch Beta squad 🤣 for every time i cried for no reason other than me being a tap, and you held me…

I’m thankful and grateful beyond imagination, I’ll never forget you, and I’ll always keep you in my prayers. May you find everything you’re looking for, egg 🥚.

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So, i guess it was 2020 maybe? Literally 20 days before Covid started! I was in Nepal in a remote village volunteering to build a school for one week as a birthday gift for myself, we had no connectivity, so when I managed to get the jeep that drove us back to the closest town.

I reached and checked my phone, and loooooaddddds of messages started streaming in.

I checked work slack, because back then I didn’t hate work…I loved it! I loved my teammates! So i was missing them actually and cant wait to go back and tell them all the stories.

So on slack….I see my team welcoming a new joiner, her name is Egg (thats what I called her anyways🤣)and there was this boy who we always used to compete on who Basma loves more (it was jokes and games because she will never love anyone more than me)

So when I saw egg has joined…I messaged on the group:

Hi egg, I’m Lin….your new favorite person.

I had nooo idea who egg was and i just said that to mess with the boy, and they all laughed.

Listen you need to understand that usually before a new hire join whether my team or other, I already know their ancestors history! EVERYTHING!

I’m literally the joe goldberg from “you” series but in the office, people come to me to stalk someone as I have FBI level skills.

But I was sooo busy when they were hiring egg, that I didn’t stalk, I had nooo idea who she was other than Basma telling me she’s sweet and she have blond curly hair.

And i travelled…

When I came back, to the office you need to understand that office, I was like the governor of that place! So when I enter, I’m shaking hands, and catching up right and left, and this time in specific everyone was dying to know where the hell was I, off grid! No connection!

But then I saw the blond curly hair…that’s must be her.

I go, I say Hi…I’m Leen.

She says, yeah I know….🤭

And I look at that boy who I compete with, and I say did you see that!!! SHE KNEW MEEEE ALREADY!!! In your face!!!!!

We all laugh, and I adopted that egg!

She just moved to dubai, clueless about anything and everything! And work give her a hotel for few days and then she needs to do all the rental shenanigans.

And without her asking! I said! Fam…I gotchu!

So we finish work and we start going to do the ejari, this, that, i do all the paper work, all the du and dewa setup…everything.

Before we know it…BOOOOOOOM COVID HITS!

let me tell you that yes I just came back from a trip but i actually had another long trip just coming up the end of the month, I was going to rent a car and drive across turkey solo. I already had everything the flight, the car…etc.

People didnt know how severe the covid situation then yet, no lockdown yet, its just speculation, and they tell me you’re crazy! Where would you go!!! But its all noise it didnt matter.

But! The boy that I compete with for Basma’s love, was actually my responsibility, I was his manager…and I noticed he’s struggling with work and he just joined barely a month or two ago. So i felt soo much guilt! If i leave him now and go for a month…he’ll be lost! So i decided i’ll not go now, i’ll do my duties as a responsible manager.

Thank god i didn’t! A week after my flight was scheduled a full lock down happen globally, all flights cancelled. If i was in turkey…id have been stuck there for 6 months (not a bad thing tbh).

Anyways! So i was in Dubai! No body knew what was going on, but i’ve already been here for what? 4 years by then! I had friends, family , everything!

But The egg didn’t know anyone!….but me!

Don’t worry fam I gotchu!

We started working from home together every single day! She comes over and we work, we eat, back then I was living in a studio so it was tight’ but more than enough for 2 humans.

We spend every morning together and before its curfew time she goes home.

But then one day we wanted to watch a movie but it was curfew time coming up, and I say..how about you just stay for a sleep over? I can give you Pj’s, you already have your laptop for tomorrow’s work! And we will just have fun.

She did!

And yoooo the rest was history! Our life was an endless sleepovers! We became the bestest friends in the land! She technically had no one else so by default i was the best because i was the “only” haha! But for me! I had manyyyyyy and my actual best friend at that time he literally lived in the same neighborhood as me, so it was so easy for me to go hang out!

But i rarely did! Why would I! I was having a blast with the egg!

So let me tell you….the egg is opposite to me! The absolute opposite! Like we have zero anything in common not looks and not personality.

When I was getting to know her I ask excited like a tiny giddy kid:

Tell me what do you love doing? Whats your favorite this? Favorite that….etc???

The answer was always:

“Nothing, meh, no favorite, it’s just food, i like bland food, i have no favorite activity, I’m boring….I’m nonchalant”

And that was the first time in my life that I go google what Nonchalant means…I learned.

She told me: she already had a group of amazing girl friends back in the Uk that she grew up with, and they had the best times in their lives they travelled, they experienced, the rapped 🤣, they did it all….and now that she’s close to 30…she’s nonchalant, she’s done it all so she’s no longer interested in anything anymore.

I gasped!!!!!

What do you mean not interested in anything!!! There’s still around 60 years to live! You can’t live life like this!!!

she doesn’t even bother spend energy to respond…she just nods and brush off what i’m saying to always say:

“That’s who I am…I’m boring…I’m nonchalant.”

And that couldn’t be any further from the truth….but she didn’t see it! I saw it!

I never ever in my life be friends with “boring, meh, nonchalant” humans, the fact that I adopted her🤣 it means she’s soo much fun to be around…but she couldn’t see it.

I said…okay! Challenge accepted!

She said: what challenge??? I’m telling you!! I’M NONCHALANT!!!!!

I said shush yourself! You don’t even know the difference between “was” and “were” and I just taught you that at the age of 29, and you are british…so just shush yourself.

She shook her head, not even bothered.

And i started plotting!

Listen…I don’t know maybe I’m overly confident but! I’d like to believe I’m so much fun! Like I can make any boring experience a really fun one!

So i started little by little…hey try this dish!

Egg: Nooo i’d never! I like bland food.

Me: just fucking try one bite i’ve been cooking it for an hour! Just try! Its disrespectful in my culture to not try someone’s food!!! You have no culture, understandable! But you’re in my place so you have no option! Just one bite and then don’t finish it.

Egg took the tiniest bite ever…then it got bigger…then bigger! Then she finished the whole dish and asked for a second round!

And that was my:

Tomato bulgur (it’s more than that but thats what we call it in arabic)

And I can’t believe it had zuchini pieces inside of it (Koussa) and the egg said…whats this? I never saw this vegetable in my life! Even when I showed her pictures, she never saw it!

SHE NEVER KNEW WHAT A ZUCHINI IS😭😭😭

Here she started building trust in me…one bite after the other, sometimes she would actually hate it…and i dont force her to eat i just eat on her behalf hahah! But she started “trying” and thats all I wanted, I wanted her to just “try”.

I asked…have you tried bubble tea before? She said no…but i dont like tea, I said no no…please…just come with me.

And I took her to “Chatime” a dodgy small place in old dubai, I know that brand from my time when i studied in Malaysia.

And I asked her to stay in the car and went down and got us two “Mango QQ”

I go back pass her hers and say….try it.

She did!…she fell in love with it!

And bubble tea became our thing! She’d ask me…leeno lets go get bubble tea today (she didn’t drive back then, I was the personal chauffeur picking up and dropping but i loved every minute, I never minded, its so much fun anyways cruising and listening to music and talking)

So trust was being built for food and drinks…now we add to the mix: experiences.

I say, how about we go hike to wadi shawka…i’ve never been but heard good stuff about it!

Oh I didn’t even tell you that before lockdown happen, and literally first week of meeting the egg, I took her with my friends and I to go try the world longest zipline in RAK and we also did the 7 ziplines between mountains course! So that was her intro to how crazy life with me can be.

So she said but how we will go hike in another emirate..its lock down!! I said no problem we come back before curfew.

We went…had a blast! Barely even reached the top or the wadi, we just layed down under the sun tanned, napped, she was nonchalant and. I was lazy…perfect match!

There was only 2 humans other than us in the entire area!

I find us spot on the side, and we go setup our fire and chairs and stuff….she said she doesn’t know how to do anything, I said…leave it to me child!

I light up the fire, and start bbq’ing shish tawooks! She loved it! She already knew it! But i impressed her with my grilling skills…she never tried just bbq’ing on the side of the road…not a camping spot…nothing! Just a piece of graveled land.

It was starting to get dark we drove back, I needed to drop her back home.

It was pass curfew time and I’ll never forget the thrill! We were both scared to be stopped by the police! What would we say??? Anyways i managed to drop her she lives not that far to me but also not so close.

And we were plotting all the way on what do we say if we get stopped.

We werent stopped :) and I managed to get back home safe.

And she messaged me “today was so much fun…thank you for everything” and my happiness levels went through the roof!!!!!

Wait what!!! The nonchalant queen admitted she had fun!!!!!

The rest was history! I took her to Nepal with me, a very weird option for a nonchalant queen, who is not used to the rough life, but we had a blast an absolute blast! We were laughing the entire time! There was barely any tourists but us!

And a couple of guys we met in the middle of Chitwan! Where we were going on an animal safari thing! The guides made us sit next to those 2 guys, I was forced to sit tin the middle as I was wearing a white top and apparently that triggers the animals and they might attack us! So they needed to shelter me hahahaha, anyways turns out the guys are arabs! We got along really well, the guys were planning to spend the night in the jungle watch tower.

They cancelled that plan, and came back with us…and asked, do you smoke? I said what kind of smoke? And he winked…I looked at megan, she looked back at me! The nonchalant queen was interested in an adventure!!!! I said i never knew how to do it properly but I’m down to try!

So we went all 4 of us back to the guy’s room but they were veryyyy respectful! They left the main door open, it was in the jungle anyways, they rolled one, and we started taking turns while music was blasting and we were just laughing and chit chatting (it never hits me, it never works on me…still it didnt) so the guys were buzzing and me and megan were normal.

But then we went to this cultural show together were locals did a dance, and then we went for dinner.

And we said goodbye to the guys…no contacts exchanged, nothing!

Even tho they live in dubai too!

But that was it! An adventure! No need for anything more!

And me and the egg took a toktok back to our hotel in disbelief that this is how we spent the day.

The egg was no longer saying she’s Nonchalant! She was secretly getting excited to try more things! Her family and friends were in disbelief!!! Like who is this Leen! Why are you in Nepal!!! How on earth YOU the nonchalant EGG! Is having a blast in Nepal!! What on earth!

Her friends were soo curious to get to know me! They heard so much about my craziness, they can see the shift in the Egg, a positive shift….she’s happy again!

I plan and she says yes! Reluctantly, i shock her with how fast i plan and i hit her with ultimatum not giving her any options to say no!

So we planned more trips! We went on a long one across malaysia, to places i haven’t been to when i studied there! Others i knew…i took her to see where i was living…she was the first and only who saw my past there. The building where i lived, the streets i used to walk, where i used to eat when i was a university student.

We went across malaysia for maybe 20 days as we had the option to work remotely on some days too!

I never met anyone like me in the fact that we can stand and watch monkey’s doing monkey weird stuff for like an hour! Hahahaha people just passing, going to do their things and me and the egg are just observing the weird shit the monkeys are doing! Laughing our heart out!

We never rushed anything when we were together, i took it slow…she wants to nap, I want to too! So we just park and nap like 2 old grandmas before we go to our next destination.

We watch the monkeys for as long as we want to!

We were literally nonchalant together! But having a blast while we are at it! We’ve done soo much during that trip! Soo much! We experienced a “night” waterpark experience in Lost World of Tambun where it was the first time for both of us to hang out with Meercats! The cutest meercats in the land, and to sit in the natural hot springs, we took shit loads of shots with the street graffiti in Ipoh,

Both disliked Penang together (I’ve been there before).

We went to strawberry farms in the Cameron highlands, where the sign says “don’t eat” and I finished half of the produce! 🤣🤣🤣 the egg went far so she wouldn’t be associated with me, and whenever she looked back! She’d see me stuffing my face with strawberries 🤣🤣🤣

We went on a waterfall hike, where my stomach decided to go off (god knows what i ate to cause that) And I had for the first time in my life to 💩 in nature! As it was explosive! I cant even hold it in! And she just laughs! She laughs on how crazy that is! How embarrassing it was! And how I was lying to say..I just needed to pee! But I stank the place so…she knew 😭😭😭😭

We chilled on the beaches of Langkawi and took Jetski tours where apparently it was my first time riding a jetski! And yet I was talented! The guide was mind blown! Everyone was lagging behind but i was crushing through the waves.

We went to our first ever chinese acupuncture with a traditional chinese doc that doesn’t even speak english, he talks and we laugh!

We did loads of massages, we ate alot of weird shit! More like..I ate..she watched…then we drove to the closest macdonalds so she can eat ! And i’d eat again🤣🤣

Safe to say we visited at least one branch of mcdonalds in every city we went to in Malaysia.

Honestly….one of the best trips in my life! The amount of “first experiences” for both of us! Madness!

And when I was a uni kid, I was so broke I always used to go lay down under the petronas towers and look at those hotels next to it and hope that one day I can afford to stay in one of those rooms overlooking the petronas towers from my room.

Years has passed and I came back with the egg and we stayed in rooms overlooking the towers and she took videos of me just lost in my thoughts looking at them from my own window room! For her she didn’t know the importance.

For me…that was a dream come true.

We did waaaay more than the above, every day was filled with adventures….i took her to eat my favorite (Roti Canai) which is the metalic plate the jail ones, that had roti and next to it curries its the cheapest and most common for the poor and students, and i used to love it! She liked it too!!!!

Both nepal and malaysia we did it during covid…then she took me to the UK, I got to go to Canterbury to her family’s home in the countryside! Which is something i’d never experience if it wasn’t for her.

Her family actually had to put down documents that proof they own a home, bank stuff..etc and to sponsor me that they guarantee that if i do go to the UK then i’d come back, thats how I got the visa.

She was there already! She picked me up from heathrow (turns out its so shitty!) she always told me its shitty…I thought she’s exaggerating! Omg its so bad for all of the hype and mentions it gets in music.

“Baby I go to heathrow more than your man goes to Petrol station” fredo.

Hahahah this👆🏼 is one of shit loads of british artists songs that I started loving because of the egg! I fell in love with “Dave” he became my favorite artist of all times! He’s not a raper he’s a poet!

I also fell in love with the Queen barb! Nicki minaj because the egg was her number one fan so i had to listen to her music 24/7 until i started loving them even on my own.

“I’m the best” is my pump me up song! Whenever I’m about to go cause disasters or to fight! I listen to it to hype myself up!

I actually learned how to rap every single word in that song! I did it the first time without egg knowing and one day we were driving, she’s the passenger princess…(except in malaysia she drove us across the country as they drive just like the UK on the right side) so i was driving she was taking a video and i put “I’m the best” and i tell her start recording!

And i start rapping…every single word…and egg’s shock! Her mouth dropped! Then she cracked up laughing!! WHAT ON EARTH!!!

Not that little arab syrian girl, dropping some fire nicki minaj bars 🤣🤣

I did it to impress the egg! Btw she had insane positive impact on my english, I was already fluent before her, but after her…i became 100x better as she was the one i was talking to the most, and spent lockdown together, so i was english 24/7.

But I was the one who taught her “English grammar” as she was too hood! For that🤣

Even some words i picked up the british accent without me noticing, people at work started making fun of me….like yeah the influence of the egg is too clear haha! It wasn’t intentional!

So i went to the UK and I met her friends, some I did meet when they visited dubai, i took them places, so when i went to the UK egg took me places and introduced me to them.

Two of them became and still are one of my favorite friends! We don’t talk everything day but we do stay in touch frequently, we always make time to do a long catchup.

These two became my friends, that even after me and the egg drifted and one of them was visiting egg in dubai, she actually came and saw me! Hanged out with me at home for few hours as i was in deeeeeeep depression.

Anyways back to the UK, we went together for the first time ever to the inside of buckingham palace (yes she’s a Londoner and she never been) we went to London eye even tho I was begging not to go up! And she said. YOU HAVE TO TRY JUST LIKE HOW YOU FORCE ME TO TRY!

i knew id hate such silly toursity thing, but i did it anyways we laughed.

We went to London dungeons yoooo!! Probably my favorite thing ever!!! Whenever i met british people after in work stuff…i say i’ve been to london, they say oh what did you like? I say:

The London Dungeons

Hahahahah! No joke! I loved it! And they laugh because thats such a kids kind of activity! Like why is a 30 year old adult that impressed with the dungeons! But the actors and actresses there are sooo talented! Sooo creepy!

We went to windsor castle, and we both loved it, we went to harry potter world! And turns out my life was a lie! Hogwarts is just a 3D Module! Thats it! Its not real!

We got invited to her friend (who became mine) and we sat and had fish and chips because they wanted me to try the hood’s fish and chips.

Went with the egg’s dad to the pub! Because I’ve never been to the pub before…a proper british pub!

God how many memories! The laughter, the fun!!!

We went to Montenegro! Rented a convertible and cruised our way through that trip! One of the best sceneries you can ever see! The sea on your right and the mountains on the left.

We went wild camping in oman, turns into a disaster because i didnt know the tent i bought was made to isolate the cold its made for mount everest! Not for Oman 20 degrees nights.

I was dying the entire night, couldn’t sleep not even a minute to the extent that i opened the zipper of the tent and threw my head out! Literally! A head dangling from the tent! Letting all the insects come eat me! But at least i can breathe!

While the egg slept in my long sleeve christmas pj’s…literally nonchalant!!!

She woke up the next morning…saw me sitting on the chair outside, looking like the woman from “the ring” its pitch black, we have zero cellular connection as I wanted it to be wild camping! She was so scared when she couldn’t find me in the tent and it was 4 am.

So she had to go out shouting my name..then she points the flash at me…and I’m literally “the ring”

Literally sitting in the pitch black, while the waves of the sea next to us were crushing! It was scary but i didnt give a shit! I just wanted OXYGEN!

Anyways we packed up and went to a resort for 3 days🤣🤣🤣🤣 so much for wild camping! But we had soo many adventures! Soo many S’mores that burnt my lip and i became an HIV positive looking woman 🤣🤣.

We bbq’ed above the clouds thinking we found the best spot only for a local man to come running to us saying we should be careful from i forgot what wild animal that was? Tiger? Something big and scary! It was getting dark and we were too useless anyways! So we ate, laughed, and then wrapped up before we turn to. Dinner for other animals.

On the way back it was the first time in our lives we see wild camels coming this close to us! we had to stop the car on the highway as they surrounded us! And i had to close my windows because the camels came to shove their head IN THE CAR!

And then we flew back to dubai reaching in the morning and at night we had another flight back out for 4 days trip to Uzbekistan!

And what a trip that was! We spent one day in each city:

1 day in tashkent

1 day in samarkand

1 day in Bukhara

What a life we had together egg! And I know it wasn’t perfect! I know we had alot of fights alooooot! But i don’t remember any of them now! And when i do…they make laugh! Like how i went crazy and left you at night in Bukhara and went and got another hotel room 🤣 but then came back the next day telling you…well we are already on a trip so we might as well just have fun now and just go fight in dubai 🤣🤣🤣

I doubt anyone will read this, and I don’t care if they do! I wrote if for me!

I wanted to write it show how I brought life back to the Nonchalant queen, but as i was writing i realised…you were the one who brought life back to me!

You accepted my craziness, you loved an adventure even though it scared you, even though it was all uncharted territory for you…you just trusted me! You knew i’d never give anything but THE BEST! For you my egg.

You made me hang on to life longer, if it wasn’t for you…i don’t know how i would have survived covid lockdown with all the darkness that was surrounding my soul.

You used to say that i was the one that changed your life, well…you’re the one that saved mine.

I’ll forever love you, and I know we will never be friends again, not because I’m bad or you are bad…but because it’s not meant to be.

I always used to say this to everyone that came after you and wanted me to be their best friend.

I say: “ i only had one best friend, and she’s not in my life now but she’ll come back and she’ll always be my only best friend” but now I learned that…maybe you’ll never come back, and maybe i don’t want you to.

But we had a hell of a life together! What a life egg! What a life!

So thankful that our paths have crossed…I’m forever grateful to you.

🧋🦥🥚

P.S: the queen in my tattoo is not the Nonchalant queen, why the fuck would I put my best friend on my arm? Like does this make any sense? Also I met the egg in 2019, I had the tattoo in 2024 :) so don’t over analyze and shush yourself