The Time is Now!

Sigh…I don’t even know where to start this article from, but let me tell you I think for the last two weeks god was looking down at me, face palming and saying:

“HOW MANY TIMES DO I NEED TO CHALLENGE YOU TILL YOU ACTUALLY LEARN LIN!!!!!”

Valid..valid!

Well lord, I’ve never claimed to be the brightest did I? but I always said I’m quite stubborn so there you go🤷🏽‍♀️ BUT! I guess now I learned, thanks for your patience 🙏.

Okay, in the story of how I moved to Bali, I started it saying how ever since I’ve landed that office job 8 years ago I felt like I fell into a trap, that my soul was dying and when I looked around me and realized this is how my life will be from this moment onwards…I knew I was doomed.

But I kept on pushing and pushing till I got myself to the point of a mental breakdown at work, and I didn’t learn my lesson then, so I recovered and went back, climbing the ladder more, being promoted more, getting everything that I wanted, every salary increase that I justified my value, I got, every work that I said I want to do more of that and less of that, I got. and yet! that doomed feeling never went away, so I lose my mind! quit with no backup plan and moved to Bali.

And I told myself I’ll never again get that invested in a job! I’ll never treat it as if its my own business when I’m nothing but an employee and a money making machine for them.

Then I got a job at a Fintech, I negotiated 5k more than the salary they offered (and that salary was already top of the range for that position and it was lower than the position that I had before) and they actually gave me what I asked for :) and that statement that I’ve said above :) it went to the bin.

I found myself being invested again, I wanted to fix this and fix that, and disrupt the industry and innovate and revamp their processes, and I was loud and I was my mischievous self and I challenged way too many people higher up than me, and I got fired in a month and a half :)

And I said, I’ll never again do that mistake, I’ll never be invested how STUPID I am to care and to try to do things when I was literally being paid at that Fintech really good salary to do nothing! the standard there is very VERY low! that I’ve automated all of my work within my first few weeks and then I was chilling, so I literally could’ve just shut the fuck up! put my head down, be one of those losers who want to tap in and tap out (which seems like these are the base of all big organizations) and I could’ve just stacked one salary after the other while I focus on building my own businesses.

However, they paid my salary till end of July, so technically I’m not working full time since mid June till now (1st of of October) and what would a normal person who got fired unexpectedly do? Panic right?

I didn’t! not even one bit! I travelled to Kenya as I had planned, I went to Syria and travelled within Syria with the Fam which is something we haven’t done since I was a kid! I came back, I maximized that 3 months Privilee membership which I got pre-getting fired, so I’m out and about going from one resort to the other, hanging out with my friends, attending events…basically enjoying life without a care in the world!

And I just didn’t feel like I’m ready to put the effort and to double down on “building” my path to financial freedom. Meanwhile I was throwing my CV just because why not, might as well I interview and I develop that skill of talking to people, to be challenged and to be put on spot so I learn how to conduct myself better.

But I did it with zero passion, like come on! you don’t need to be a genius to know that I dislike SEO, I literally state that in almost every article, so I was very indiferent about getting a job, I actually was talking to the recruiters as If I’m talking to a friend, laughing, joking! building relationships with them, zero stress and zero care.

However a kind stranger who’s a CEO at a very established Fintech company (no not that minion that posts pictures of himself with “Live Laugh Love” quotes) this one an actual “proper” CEO, he told me if I see any job listing that I like to let him know maybe he knows someone there.

By chance, I came across this listing of a job opening that has been sitting there for 2 months! but it’s with a HUGE organization! and when I say huge! it’s on of those that you put it your Linkedin title (Ex-something) as something to brag on…lol.

So I Sent it to him, and literally on spot he whatsapps someone who’s reallyyyy high up in that organization, and he tells him about me and I send that man my CV just for it to reach the HR.

Two months later, I completely forgot about that job, and I get an email from the recruiter at that company to schedule an interview, and I slayed my way through the interview with the recruiter we literally became buddies laughing and talking, then I slayed my way through the next one with the hiring manager who would’ve been my boss, honestly! prior to that interview the company name was fancy but honestly I wasn’t invested, like I don’t give two shits about SEO to be passionate about it anymore, but that call with my hiring manager, lit my soul on fire…and what do I do, I throw that statement of never making the same mistake again into the bin!

He was a nerd just like me, we bonded! talking to him didn’t feel like talking to a boss in a interview, it felt like omg someone likes the same nerdy things as me…how on earth did I luck out! so that interview went beyond great, then I got a task, a very simple task that instead of doing the silly thing that people do when they do an SEO audit, which is to tell you:
You have 5 broken links, and 25 unoptimized title tags 😂

I actually did it from a strategic perspective, because for the role that I was applying for, I should be leading the conversations! I should be providing the strategy and guiding others on how to implement, and seeing that I’ve reached this level of knowledge, it goes without saying that I know how to do the silly things in SEO, right???? RIGHT???????? (hold this thought for a bit)

Then I did an interview with the Growth Marketing Lead, which is the boss of my boss, and that was one of the most challenging interviews I’ve done in my life, you know why? not because of his title! not at all! we actually laughed too and it was a friendly chat! but because that man was smart! he knew what he was doing and he knew what he’s talking about! so he didn’t ask me not even one questions from those silly ones that you can see by reading my CV “So tell me more about your working experience in SEO”

Not at all! he kept on asking me scenario based questions, all of them are things that I’ve been put on spot right there infront of him to form an answer, and to be honest and because I’m quite self-aware I can say that it was a great interview! and I told him that before wrapping up! I told him this was by far the most challenging interview but I’ve enjoyed it quite alot and I thanked him for it.

So here in my mind the hard parts were done, HR loves me, Hiring manager said I’m on top of his list, Boss of Boss I did my best and it was super positive….so I should get the job right??? RIGHT????? (hold that thought)

Next interview was with the team, the lovely lovely SEO team, 3 people that I didn’t even look into who they are prior to joining as why would I? so this interview was to discuss the task that I did…I join that meeting only one have the camera on, the two others didn’t bother :)

Then I tried to break the ice, trying to be friendly you know and to get to know them, because apparently both are in Dubai (this is a fully remote company) so I asked if they go to the office as I heard from the HR that it’s one of the best offices for that company.

Here when I asked that question I was really expecting an answer of the likes of:

Yeah the office is quite nice, you can go to it if you rather to work there but it’s a fully remote company so that’s not really needed.

What did I get:
“Yes I’m trying to go there every Monday and Thursday, you know because the marketing team is there, and the CMO is there, so it would be good for him to see us”

And here my heart sunk…I swear I think my energy shifted..and I was in my mind “Ohhhh shiiiit!! not again! not AGAIN!!!”

You may be wondering why my heart sunk?
Because that statement above show that these people are mediocre, they are the type of people that they need to go sit behind a desk infront of someone to show that “they are actually working” even when the entire company is FUCKING REMOTE! like imagine that! imagine that the only value you can bring to the table is you sitting behind a desk from 9–6 to prove that you’re actually working.

Anyways I go into walking them through my task, they were very arrogant! very rude actually! which shocked me because the people I interviewed with before who were really high up on the food chain, were the friendliest, so who are those people to talk in such a tone? I tell you who:
“Insecure people”

Anyways I was asked all the wrong questions, questions that I won’t be able to give an answer for as it’s not part of my task, questions that would force me to say, that I’d need to do an audit to give you that number! as I don’t have a specific number, as WHO THE FUCK CARES about a number! you should care now about the strategy! to assess my way of thinking!

Anyways one horrible question after another horrible question and I was getting frustrated, the meeting ended and they didn’t even allow me to ask any questions, they said:
“You’ll hear from us” Hahahah! you know why I put hahaha after that statement, because aparently that person who said that is the most junior of them all.

So after that call I was soo upset and soo angry because I was sooo invested in wanting to get that job! it’d have been the dream job! literally! Big organization! fully remote! a boss who’s a nerd so he’ll appreciate my nerdiness and give me space to be that, literally “THE DREAM”.

So I went and checked the Linkedin profiles of those lovely humans, only to know the person who was the most arrogant, literally joined the company last month for a position that is lower than the one I was applying for.

The lady, who wants to go to the office so the CMO can see her value, she’s just an SEO content lady, no fancy titles, nothing! but probably she didn’t like me because she’s on Medium too :) but last time she wrote anything was 2021, and it was all AI looking kind of content, the one about crypto that why would I even read your silly article when you have all the big giants already covering the same topic, but she probably did that just to score the job (which she did as such rubbish is what sells) so maybe me being on Medium yet writing 100% geniun content that the only AI I use is that picture above, is probably threatening!

And the last star of the show is the lead Technical SEO, mashallah! when you see that title you expect that person would be the GOAT! that man, was very soft spoken, barely I could’ve hear his voice, the type that would need to apologize like 3 times because he wants to interrupt me to ask a question (goodluck in fixing anything technical related! If the lead technical is like that, those who know, know exactly that its a battle field between SEO and Devs or basically SEO and any department — so yeah worst kind of personality to be a “lead”).

Anyways he asked a question, and what do you think it would’ve been? no no please think about it, think about something dumb in the technical SEO realm.

He asked, do you have any casestudy to prove that having content on a subfolder would preform better than a subdomain?

And I was speechless! ummm sorry what? like how did you do SEO for all of those X years and you are lead technical and you ask such a silly question! it’s the kind of question that if he typed that on google before asking me he would’ve been hit by 1000000 articles and case studies to prove that.

BIIIIIG Sigh……

Anyways that was on Friday I finished that call and I needed to head out immediately as I was taking the kids to a resort, and on my drive there I was soo angry that I actually cried, I cried not because the interview went bad! I cried because while being in that interview with them It opened up sooo many bad experiences from my past.

• I cried because I remembered “A” the Marketing Manager at a chain hotel which every monthly meeting with our SEO team he would make us feel like shit, he was soo arrogant, so clueless! and yet delusional, and it used to feel my soul is dying when I sit in that meeting room, sometimes not only with my boss but with the boss of my boss and “A” shits on us, and everyone is letting him! everyone who should speak and put him back in his place were quiet because he was paying us for our SEO services so he can shit on us!
• “A” was a big reason of my mental breakdown at work, when I came back after 1 month of break, he scheduled a call and supposedly my boss said she’ll remove me from the account and she’ll attend the meeting but that meeting she couldn’t and I swear I went into a panic attack! talking to him gave me a panic attack, not because I was weak, not because I’m incapable, but because he’d treat me like shit and I won’t be able to respond to him as I am more than capable on shitting on him just as much if not more, but! that would’ve costed us the client and my boss would be upset, so I didn’t want to do that.

Fun fact: “A” is so delusional that after 1 year of stopping to work with us, he called me and offered me an opportunity to join their team full time 😿😿

• I cried because I remembered another “A” and she was a client and she had a very high position leading all the digital marketing channels, and yet she was the dumbest person when it comes to anything digital, and because I challenged her, because I didn’t let her treat me like she would treat others and I wouldn’t let her waste my time doing things that would bring zero value to the brand just because she’s lazy and she’s so unprofessional that she treats other colleagues as her personal assistant, like bitch I’m an SEO expert thats my role! I’m not here to go do a presentation for you so you can go present it to the CEO about something that is not really related to my work but its because you’re incapable of doing it yourself.
• That lady was sexist (she doesn’t like working with other women), she disliked me because I didn’t humor her lack of intellegence because she wasn’t just asking nicely she would be rude and also dumb! like that is something I won’t allow, and she went and complained about me to my manager who’s also the head of the deparment and the decision maker for anything related to SEO, but I guess I’ve mention my manager enough now in posts for you to know that this woman knew exactly who I am, she was the first to see my potential even when I was the most junior of them all, so she would never allow anyone like “A” to come chat shit, my manager was a true leader, she dealt with that woman, and she came and told me just maybe to be a little more diplomatic as some people are Dumb and we need to learn how to deal with all kind of characters with patience and understanding (she was right).
• I cried because I remembered alot of people in the latest Fintech which I got fired from, the HR that was a bundle of disaster, she literally is a bundle of disaster she made so many drastic mistakes with me and with everyone around me and she have a brain of the size of a pea and yet she was the one that looked me in the eye in that meeting and said, “You know Lin…we had this discussion before and your communication style is not a match for our organization” let me tell you that this woman have the poorest english on the planet earth and she writes everything using Chatgpt, and she swears on slack and she’s completely unprofessional but on email, she let CHATgpt do her work…..and I was the one that was fired:)
• I remembered those insecure colleagues at that same organization who weren’t even part of my team but they are from the same country as I am, and my presence threatened them because once I joined they disappeared into the Abyss, they are sooo mediocre that when I came, I outshined them just by being me! so they went and filed complains about me to get me fired, and they looked me in the eye and laughed when I was being escorted out from that office.
• I remembered that interview which I did 2 months ago with a gaming company, which I aced it! I’ve dropped so much knowledge that the hiring manager was literally jotting done notes right and left, they didn’t ask about my history they asked about what I can do for them and wrote down everything, and the guy sitting next to my hiring manager was soo weak and soo insecure in himself that he was literally shaking as he talks, you know those people that fidget and twist and play with something with their hands because they are so nervous to speak? yeah that’s the Paid Media lead guy for you :)And I was rejected for the job.

So the job that I did 4 interviews which I mentioned above, I was also disqualified :) and I swear if I was disqualified after the challenging interview with the Lead Growth Marketer, I would’ve said “Oh well” and moved on with my day, because I’m secure enough in myself to realise that maybe I’m not competent enough for that role, but to be disqualified after meeting a bunch of mediocre juniors! that hit me so hard!

So I cried while I’m driving and thinking about all of the above, because I just was asking god HOW ON EARTH! is this fair? like how those people reached high positions, and how those dumbest than a brick humans stay in the organization and I’m the one who’s fired, and how those juniors landed a job at what I thought “A dream job” and I’m the one that gets disqualified.

And yesterday I was angry, I actually was angry before even I heard back from them, I woke up angry out of no reason! I knew I will be disqualified for that job from the moment I left that meeting, even though my friends told me..nooooo if the managers liked you, you shouldn’t be worried! but I knew it deep inside of me, my intuition never fails me and I knew that this was over.

They actually were respectful enough to give me feedback (maybe because I became friends with the HR) but even the hiring manager messaged me on Linkedin to wish me well and to tell me his feedback, which is actually something admirable…but from my end, I had to also tell him exactly what I think of his “Dream team”

and while the entire world can call me crazy, and a firecracker…etc.
Let me tell you, releasing my emotions and speaking my truth, instead of trapping them inside of me is the only way that I’m capable of recovering this fast and feeling the happiest girl alive today after I had a shitty day yesterday.

I don’t want to live with emotions that doesn’t serve me, and god is my witness that I won’t let one single human no matter who they are to come tell me what I’m worth and that “I’m incapable”. And anyways I no longer need to be “professional” to leave a chance for a future opportunity with that connection, I don’t need these opportunities, I’ve got other plans 😉

Now back to the topic….why is god face palming himself in heaven?

Because when will I learn? How the FUCK do I always find myself in the same position, getting invested, getting driven and also how wrong I am to say next time I join a job I don’t want to be invested, I dont’ want to give my best? this is a lie! this is not who I am, and I’m incapable of being that! like thats the reality that I’ve reached:

• I AM PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE OF SITTING THERE NOT DOING ANYTHING.
• I HAVE LOW TOLERANCE FOR DUMB PEOPLE.
• I CAN’T WASTE TIME DOING A TASK THAT DRAINS MY SOUL WHEN I KNOW I CAN AUTOMATE IT IN MINUTES AND SAVE MYSELF TIME, I CAN’T SIT THERE FROM 9–6 “ACTING” LIKE I’M WOKRING.

So that’s why god was face palming, because it took me this long to realize deep in my heart that I’m done walking that path, I’m done working for other organizations, I can’t work and report to other “Salaried” employees, because they don’t give a shit! my presence will be threatening and an inconvenience to anyone who’ a “salaried” employee! because why would they choose to sit next to such a headache? why would they choose someone who would challenge them day and night? why would they choose someone who will actually get shit done so quick that would not allow others to chill and “act busy”.

I was so wrong to not see thing, the issue is not me! I cannot change who I am, and I don’t want to! the only kind of humans who will appreciate someone like me, would be the owners, the founders, the ones that works so hard to build that they want to get shit done, they want to be challenged because that will make them always at the forefront of their industry, only those people will be able to accept me as I am, and actually appreciate the fire that is in me.

When I got fired from that Fintech, who had above 600 global employees, I’ve reach the founder and I emailed him telling him everything that I noticed was wrong, I gave him feedback about all of the failed processes starting from SEO, Analytics, content, Social and most importantly HR.

Here’s how I started my email

And he could’ve ignored me, he could’ve let someone else respond to me! as already the entire legal and HR team globally was involved in my case along with the Puppet CEO, and that CEO already apologized to me in person, but what did the founder do?

He actually responded to my email, acknowledged every single point I’ve raised, thanked me and asked if I have more ideas/feedback for improvement, along with apologizing for the way I was fired.

Why do you think he responded? because I was loud? because I caused commotion? not at all! company that size with that amount of money would squish me in seconds, he responded because it’s his business! it’s the thing he spent probably so many sleepless nights getting up from the ground, and I was helping him to see what’s going wrong, because no body will tell him! none of these below mediocre employees will tell him! why would they!! it was a paradise for any salaried worker! no body was ever online on slack! literally no one! my manager was more offline than online! it took her 25 days to give me one access to a tool (it’s a copy and paste credentials kind of effort required from her), any question I asked she always answered with:
I don’t know ask X, and when I ask X that person never responds.

The standard was insanely low at that organization, that why would anybody go tell him? are you joking! like this is the dream! making really good salary by doing absolutely nothing.

But thats not who I am, thats not my dream! that’s my nightmare! working with mediocre colleagues is a nightmare, working with a manager that doesn’t want to work is a nightmare, sitting behind a desk from 9–6 “acting busy” literally makes me feel suffocated and I’d rather be busy every minute of that 9–6 so I don’t have time to think about how I’m captured inside this cage.

The message that god wanted me to hear was:
“ You should NOT join yet another place and to try and be mediocre, to try and lower your standards to match the others, as that is literally the worst thing you can do for your soul, and that’s why I wasn’t allowing anything to work out, and that’s why no other job will work out”

“Dear God..I know I’ve frustrated you enough! and you’ve been nothing but patient with me, but today I tell you…I’ve got the message”

So from this point onwards, everything will change in my “work life”, I know exactly what I want to do and what I need to do to get there, I have a very clear vision and I’m more than aware that I’ll have obstacles and I may have to deviate from the plan, but it doesn’t matter as long as I’m on the right path.

I’ll be building in public all of those cool ideas that I want to do (some I already started)

I’ll do an overhaul for my social profiles and focus on what matters:

• Linkedin: bores me to death but it did link me up to some interesting people but I don’t want to spend as much time on it, maybe 1–2 hours per week, and I’m definitely no longer paying for that premium shitty membership as it sucks and over priced for no value (at least for me and for someone in my case its of no value)
• Instagram: will “probably” go private! not sure about this one yet as I did use it to talk and interact with people that I’ve never thought I can reach! There’s this lady who is AN ABSOLUTE BOSS! highly intelligent, very successful, very wise and a badass business woman! I love everything about her content, and guess what! I’ve actually manged to make her laugh, she literally said “Laughing out loud” and she was interested enough to have a full on conversation with me!….me! lets focus here on “me” because as it stands I’m a nobody, so she didn’t interact with me because I’m very established and successful! but because I touched her as a human enough to get her interested! and that in my books is SUCCESS.So I don’t know about if I’ll go private or not, but what I know for a fact is I’m no longer dumb scrolling! I’m no longer wasting that limited time in my day to see other people’s lives and procrastinate about my own, I can do that in my morning routine for an hour and that’s more than enough! (but compared to the endless hours I spend now, an hour would be great!)
• X (Twitter): I’m going all in on X, as the people that inspire me and the community of builders, nerds and innovators are on it! so I’ll be building my personal brand on that platform, I’ll share my journey, failures and success on there, so that is where I’ll be hanging.@findingleeno

I’ve got so much that I want to do, and I was telling myself I need a job to support myself financially while I focus 80% on my side hustles but I realised, taking yet another job is nothing but a morphine injection to numb myself and to delay my financial freedom, as I can never really join any company and not give it my all, I’ll always be so invested that I go all in.

But I no longer want to give that energy and time to build others dreams.

Financially its tricky and maybe everyone around me won’t even understand how I can be this calm and collected like that when literally I don’t even have money to cover my rent for next quarter, and the answer is:

Because I believe in myself!

Because I know for a fact that money is infinite! and that the moment I decide I want money, I’ll get it! I’m the type of woman that there’s no job is beneath me! and I’m actually willing to go work a hard physical job to support myself, no problem at all! probably I’ll enjoy that way more than dumbing myself down at those fancy organizations where no shit gets ever done.

I’m so excited for what’s to come! this is the first time I feel it in my heart that “The Time is Now” :)