The Receipts For Love Is Grief

I've heard that sentence in a video I was watching and it caught my attention, because it's one of the most truthful statements I've ever heard:
The Receipts For Love Is Grief

I personally don't think love is a choice, and those who claim its a choice or they "chose" to love then I'm not sure how pure and authentic their love is.

Are they really in love? or they like the idea of being in "love" so they convince themselves that the state of "lust" that they are feeling, is actually them being in love?

For me, love was never a choice...maybe you can control how much you love? like you can completely let yourself go into "love" or maybe you can control your urges and take it slowly? put boundaries? I don't know really... is I don't even know how to do the latter haha.

But what I know is...from all the "love" that I experienced in my life, it always came with immense amount of pain.

In the latest relationships in my adult life, every time I felt like I'm falling in love, my brain told me from the get fo "oh shit, are you ready to get hurt again?" and my answer is always: Yes.

Because true love is not lust, it's not grand gestures, romantic date nights, birthday gifts, movie nights...etc.

I mean sure these all are amazing things and they do add alot to the relationship, but how many hours are these out of your months? If I'm generous I'd say that a full day (24 hours) a month in total is spent on those stuff, okay what about the rest? You're left with 706 hours...and that's where your love will show.

Loving someone means accepting their bad traits over their positives, because everyone accepts their positives but who's there for them when their demons take over?

Loving someone means that you actually love them for who they are, their soul, them when they wake up and electricity has hit their hair (haha well that's how I wake up....but maybe only I get electrocuted, I need to run a survey with my friends) if you love someone truly for whats within them, then you'd love them in all of their states, because ain't nobody have energy to look good 24/7, so will you still love them when they look like a hot mess and you are are surrounded in every minute in your life with tons of options of hot as fuck humans, will you still choose them?

Loving someone means being interested in what truly matters to them, even if that topic bores you to death, you don't really need to fake interest in it, but it shouldn't kill you to sit and listen if you see the person infront of you sooo passionate about it, I mean if you really love them then just seeing them being passionate about something should bring you joy. In a world where majority are becoming soulless replicas....having a soul, a passion..is becoming really rare, so you should celebrate it.

Loving someone means you're accepting that life will be 100x harder than when you're single, because it's way more complicated when you need to think about 2 instead of 1 in every decision you make.

Loving someone means they'll hurt you and you'll have to be patient with them, not because it's okay for them to hurt you, but because they don't know any better, they are only human who also maybe had a rough childhood, cold parents, betrayals in relationships...whatever cards life has dealt them. So it's okay if they come with a baggage, with love and patience, you both can heal together.

Loving someone means you are choosing to experience life with them, and we both know that life is nothing but a series of unfortunate events, not being pessimistic here, but like....lets be real, look around you, how pleasant it is?
So loving someone means you are accepting to live through their unfortunate events just like they will live through yours, which means you are doubling the chances of your exposure to misery, are you ready for that?

Loving someone means you are accepting that you'll live through an earth shattering heartbreak because "impermanence" is part of life, and whether they leave you in a day, month, years, decades, eventually...they'll leave.

So you'll grief in all instances, you'll grief when they hurt you, you'll grief when you are having to choose their happiness over yours, you'll grief when life becomes hard on you together, and you'll grief when they'll leave.

So what you should ask yourself when you're falling in love is:

Are you ready to grief?

For me, it'll always be a yes! because what is life without love?

Peace out!