You're Not A Tree....Move!
Wow! hitting those keyboard strokes after 10 days of not touching my laptop feels sooo weird! I was out from the Monastery 5 days ago but I was feeling such calm and peace that all of these technology shenanigans felt odd that I didn't want to get back to it (or maybe that's just me procrastinating from all the piled up work that I should be doing haha!)
ANYWAYS! I won't be talking about anything Monastery related in this article even though I have way too many different angles that crossed my mind while I was there, that I want to cover...but not now.
The inspiration from this blog came literally I was sitting on my sofa next to the window, just finished my morning coffee and I was watching life unfold in my new neighborhood, and the first streaks of sun comes into my home and while it hit my face..I felt absolute bliss!
it's been cloudy and raining since Monday when I left the monastery but I wasn't complaining as I was sick and spent the day sleeping mostly so the gloominess of the outside made my time in my new place feel even cozier! but I regained my strength (patrially) yesterday and literally as I was starting to feel better, the weather became sunny again! perfect for a day out!
So today when I woke up pre-sunrise, I went to checkup on the extended family group on Whatsapp, as I wasn't available for a while now, and usually at this time no body is awake but me and Grandma, she wakess up by 3 am her time for pre-prayers (Basically devoted muslims do extra work by doing rounds of prayers before the Fajr prayer even),
so I sent a voice note addressing her and literally I was recording it she was recording one for me too! and we got chitchatting, and Nana is so funny! like not really she's actually mostly serious but the way that she talks sounds so funny for me that she always makes me laugh! that woman have a skill of always finding something to complain about, so I sent her a live video of how my new neighborhood looks like, and I even did a little tour for my studio, keeping in mind that I love it!
Like my place looks sooo modern and brand new! which is very rare for a place like Nepal, like the odds of me finding a place that was literally just finishing construction for me to rent and live in as the first person was literally something that I never dreamed of in a place like Nepal, where everything is old and over used.
So I show her my new home and whatnot, and she goes and hit me with a voicenote that says...so are you happy now??? what's the point of this??? why did you go to end of earth to live there??? like are you now satisfied from your actions?
And I literally cracked up laughing! Ahhhh nana! what a typical old Syrian grandma...I don't blame her! they are not used to hearing of someone living life like me! it's very rare for someone to leave it all and go move to a place that is soo backwards that makes syria looks like a first world country hahah really!!
*Meanwhile hear what Celine (My Niece) sent me in response to my room tour, but it's funny that she thought my dorm bed at the Monastery is where I will be living long term 😭
So I explained to my grandma that yes I am actually very much happy, and I provided her with more logistical information (and she loves hearing how much everything costs) so I explained how my life in Dubai just for rent and bills without even spending anything else costs me $2,000 while here I get this studio with everything included for around $450! so the only way for me to focus and launch my business is for me to move to a place where it's cheap and I don't need to be over burdened by endless bills!
And that convinced nana, she rested her case and wished me all the happiness in the world and loads of other prayers.
Now, grandma is not the only one who's been skeptical! literally I had to give the justifications for over 10 people since I moved to Nepal 20 days ago, The more I post stories on Instagram and they see what my real life looks like now, the more they cry in despair!! LIKE HOWWW!!! HOW DID YOU LEAVE DUBAI FOR THIS!!!!
Understandable, I was living the extreme of life luxuries and I moved to the extremes of life poverty haha! no I bet there's poorer, don't get me wrong! but like I'm telling you! Syria is way more developed than Nepal, so you can imagine!
But...it's not about what it is on the outside...it's about what it is on the inside of me! and that's something that cannot be explained as it's a feeling, like I can't make them see how at peace I feel here, how I really don't feel like a stranger AT ALL! even though in most places I end up being the only foreigner among hundreds of locals, but they are one of the kindest most peaceful humans I ever lived with! and I did live quite alot in East Asia, from Studying my university in Kuala Lumpur, to my mid life crisis in Bali...like I did try other nationalities and they are quiet nice and kind...but Nepalis are my favorite!
I also love the spiritual aspect of it! I love how in the mornings you smell Sandalwood Incense lit up everywhere, and you hear mantras playing in shops while they are still opening up and prepping for their day..it's soo peaceful!
So I am aware that my friends are betting to see how long will I last, and they are waiting for the Bali 2.0 where I come back crying to Dubai, and 18 kg less due to depression...but this is so different!
This is not me running away from reality, this is me starting a new chapter in my new reality...and I don't see myself in this Chapter living in Dubai...not at all! my soul craves to wander, to explore...to experience!
Hard to explain for my friends who are on their second and some on their third kids, as for them every move they make in life takes years of planning and everything must be super calculated and that is understandable, their choices in life impact an entire family, but who have I got to worry about but myself?
Like if it's about mom and dad then I already live far away from them, so what difference does it make for them if I'm in Dubai, Nepal or Madagascar? actually the time difference here is very minimal, barely 2 hours I'm ahead of Syria and one hour from Dubai, so even our communication is not impacted, unlike that dreadful time in Bali where I was 8 hours ahead! so I wake up when they sleep and I sleep when they are living life...and it was a mess!
Anyways...99% of all the women around me chose the same path, majority have kids and families and the others have a career that they are stuck in it for years and years (and I was too for 10 years) so I understand how absurd and weird my life choices sound to them, as it's not something they ever experienced nor that it's something they ever will....as they have too much too lose..too many attachments, but I've got nothing! so I can just uproot and go plant these roots wherever I want, or maybe none at all!
Again...you're not a tree! and neither am I haha! so if you know it in your heart that it's time to move, then just move! it's not that big of a deal really....today in Nepal, tomorrow god knows where :)
Peace out!
