Change is Good! Change is Crucial!

How many of us heard the statement “Oh..You’ve Changed” and the people who say it to us…majority of the times, they say it in a negative light, as if you committed a crime!

HOW DARE YOU CHANGE!!!

But my response is always like, hell yes I’ve changed! I change everyday! so no way you’d meet me few months from now and I wouldn’t have changed, and the periods in my life where I didn’t feel like anything happening that was changing me, these were the most miserable times!

YOU NEED TO CHANGE! change is a positive thing because it means growth!

To grow, is not to “age”, growth happen on alot of levels emotional, mental, spiritual…etc.

And does everybody grow? no! I met some people as kids and I’ve met them again now! 15 years later, and other than physical appearance, nothing have changed! absolutely nothing! how absurd is that, and how sad is their existence!

And also, you see lot of people fall out of love, out friendships, out of relationships and sometimes out of marriages, because one side might be growing and changing while the other is being stale.

The recipe for longevity in relationships (said by me..someone who never had a successful relationship and yet I’m here preaching — that’s how shitty the content online is nowadays 🤷🏽‍♀️)

Anyways, the recipe for longevity in relationships 😂 is being able to grow together! I’ve seen many of those cute videos of two old people who stayed with each other their entire life and they loved each other till the end, and the common thing between them from what I observed, is that they have changed through out the years together and they’ve accepted and adapted to the new versions of each other across that journey, and thats how their relationship survived.

Same thing for friendships, it’s very okay to change your friend groups, you can still have love and respect to the OG friends, but it’s more than fine that you’ve met other people who are at this stage in life you relate to them more, you have fun with them more, you have similar interests with them more!

You don’t need to keep on holding so tight on relationships (all kind of relationships) when that relationships is no longer serving anything good to any of you.

Also in business, businesses who don’t change and adapt they get crushed! you can’t keep on doing what worked for you 5 years ago and expect that it will work now! no way in hell it’ll work and if you don’t accept that as a fact, then it’s only a matter of time till you’re entirely out of business.

I was talking with a friend yesterday, she have a small home-based business and she’s telling me that she’s struggling alot with the social growth of her business, and I told her…listen, at this day and age if you want to be successful on social media, then you have to do the work! you have to do things that others are not doing! you have to put yourself out there! there’s no shortcut! and there’s no quick hacks!

Maybe 5 years ago just starting a page on instagram and selling whatever on it with shitty images and shitty content would have worked and you’d have sold all of your stock, but that is no longer valid!

Now you have all of your competitors and all of the world actually they are all fighting for the same thing….the attention of the users, “Attention is the new currency” so unless you start doing something that will grab the attention, no matter what it is, and no matter how silly and absurd it is…it’s not going to work out.

Thats why when I look at “talent” at work, I’m never impressed by those who are exceptional executers, the perfectionists, the hard workers, the ones that play by the book and play it safe.

Okay that’s good, they are needed in organizations, but that’s not enough! these won’t be the ones to be the driving force behind your business growth, and they shouldn’t even be leaders to be honest.

The ones that should lead are the ones who are visionaries, the creatives, the dreamers, the curious cats! the ones that like to not play by book but against it, the ones that fail, but their failure is nothing but more experience to go and try something else, and while these may not be working their butts off, they may not be the top executioners,

But without them, it’s only a matter of time before your business fails, because if you don’t have people that are up to date with what’s happening around, testing new things, revamping and revising the processes constantly…it’s not going to work out.

So in all aspects in life, change is a positive thing! maybe we are scared of it, because it kind of does push us out of what we are familiar with, and all of us are scared of the unknown, but from my crazy life experiences, I can confirm…all the amazing things that happened to me were when I ventured out in to the unknown.

So to wrap it up,

**Love & Relationships: **If you find yourself in a relationship where you’re being blamed or guilt tripped for growing, for changing..then sorry to break it for you, but this is a toxic relationship, and the other party is only doing that because they themselves are incapable of growing, so they want to hold you back from your own growth…exit.

**Friendships: **If you find yourself hanging out with people who no longer you feel excited to be around them, the ones that you make excuses to not go see them, the ones that you sit with them and find yourself unable to find things to talk about and that makes you feel guilty, because they at one point in your life “were” your close friends and they are good people, and they haven’t done anything wrong.

And it’s true! they haven’t done anything wrong, but they haven’t changed and you did! or maybe they have changed but in the opposite direction and ain’t nothing wrong with that, keep them in your life, keep the love and respect, but these shouldn’t be your core people anymore and they shouldn’t be the ones you spend the most time with, and you shouldn’t feel any guilt about that…do yourself a favor and go find the ones that at this stage in life, they match your growth, match your vibe and being with them bring you absolute joy.

**Work: **if you find yourself being a true innovator, someone who’s creative and like to test new things, try things and just keep on reinventing BUT your manager is hindering your growth or your manager shuts down every idea you suggest because it’s not the traditional way to do things.

It’s time for you to exit! because you are a rare breed! and I don’t care how much money they are paying you now, I bet that you are miserable! because people who are like that (and I’m one of those people) no money in the world was able to make me feel satisfied, even though my boss did allow me to be as creative as I want, but still! I felt like I wanted to go wander in the world (and also I was there for 7 years and for my personality type…I don’t know how that happened 😂), I wanted to be challenged more, work with people who are disrupting industries, because thats what lights up my fire and thats what give me drive and not the money.

If you don’t like your style..change it! 
If you don’t like your house..change it!
If you don’t like the country where you live…change it!
If you don’t like your job…change it!
If you don’t like being bald…then have you heard of @toupeequeen ? CHANGE IT😂

If you’ve changed your opinions and beliefs about something that you thought you’re so sure about..congratulations! you’re growing and you’re learning.

If you feel like it’s been a while since you’ve changed…then it’s time :)