The Harassment Aftermath

What a week it has been! A proper emotional rollercoaster, where I couldn’t manage my emotions nor understand them, as I was fine, laughing, joking all the normal things that I do, but then I’d have one thought and it would switch my mood back to anger and frustration…it has been a hell of a week.

This article (unlike any other one that I’ve written) will be a short one, and I’ll just breakdown how things unfolded as there are learnings to be taken from that:

1. The amount of support that I got from people that are in my life and others who I haven’t heard from in so many years was baffling! Thank you to each and every one who reached out, I may look like oh wow what a warrior! But even warriors need words of encouragement, support and empathy, so for all of you I’m thankful 🙏

2. What made me more angry than everything that I’ve written about, in my previous article, is the amount of girls that reached out telling me the most disturbing stories that happened to them, I heard things that honestly shattered my heart into pieces, I never had a doubt that there’s not a single woman/girl that I’ve ever met that haven’t been harassed.

But the things I heard are beyond what I imagined, what a sick sick world we live in!

3. The audacity of some people! I know quite well that this was shared as gossip material, because it’s such a scandalous piece! But what surprised me is the audacity of some of those “men” and I put it in two brackets because, 90% of the girls I know have more balls than those “men” and the visual might be disturbing..sorry for that! But it’s the truth.

So, those “men” reached out to offer their words of support, only for them to be smacked in the face with something they would’ve never expected :)

So, those ones are men that made the filthiest of jokes at the office, they sexualized every female that walked in front of them, and there wasn’t one day that have passed without some sort of a sexual comment wasn’t made…and yet! They dare reach out to act like the “the saviours” “the good ones” no you’re not! So shut the fuck up and go back to your place.

You know what pissed me off the most, is that with everything that happened to me, but I still took ownership! I took ownership that even I sometimes laughed to these jokes, even I felt uncomfortable and yet let those comments pass because “it’s bants” but I didn’t know any better back then, but now I know, now I won’t let it pass no matter what.

But these “men” actually fought back to say that they “NEVER” made such comments…wow! Again and in the nicest way possible:

SHUT THE FUCK UP :)

But I know exactly why they are reaching out, they are reaching out to be on my good side, to ensure that the fire won’t reach them, to hope and pray that I don’t remember all the messed up shit that they used to say.

Well, let me put your mind at ease, I won’t be coming for more people, this isn’t personal, the previous article wasn’t just about me..its about the state of humanity that we reached, so you are the least of my concerns :) and you’re too pathetic to even consider writing about you, so you can relax now.

Now to wrap up, I got the following statement alot:

“I’m sorry this has happened, I wish there was something I can do about it”

You can! You absolutely can and this applies to men and women all the same, here’s what you can do:

1- Speak up and take a stand when you’re in a position to do so, don’t say its none of my business, don’t take the easy route.

2- Don’t see a stranger distressed and not go offer your help, that stranger might shut down your offer of help but most likely they’ll take it, especially if they are alone. At that moment they wouldn’t care who you are, they just want help!

So, go be that help! And don’t say…someone else will go do it! No no no..trust me! No one will! Absolutely no one!

So you go be that one, else no body will help.

3- People in leadership positions, open up your eyes to whats around you, the type of jokes and bants made, the kind of abnormal “friendships” being formed between two who have major disparity in positions.

But don’t interfere and don’t drag people into HR rooms, just monitor the situation and if anything stood out, then go ask the girl in question if all is okay, and if any interference need to happen.

Now if you saw something “very wrong” and the girl is saying all is fine, then it’s on you then to go report to HR, don’t say it’s none of my business….it is!

That girl may be as Naive as I was, and she honestly would’ve had zero clue that anything wrong is happening, so it’s on you to raise awareness.

4- People with kids, put your girls into activities that increase their confidence, I attended few martial arts classes with my nephew and it’s not only about making them physically strong, but I loved how they forced them to shout! To make that loud sounds that made the kids super uncomfortable and pushed them out of their comfort zone, my nephew literally said:

“ I don’t want to go again, and when asked why? He said because he doesn’t want to shout, he doesn’t like it, he’s uncomfortable”

But you know why he’s saying that? It’s because he’s shy and that action is pushing him waaaay out of his comfort zone :)

So put your girls there too! It’s not a “boys” thing, girls need to be loud and to shout when needed, they need to speak up without fear!

And maybe there are other activities that help in that, I don’t know, you go do your research, but do something about it now! Because they’ll be thankful for that later.

And that’s it! I’m not devastated, I’m not sad! I had a good week, I’ve very blessed and this is just a part of life for me, and yet another day in the life of females worldwide, so I’m all good! And I’ll carry on doing my part and I hope and pray that you’ll do yours too!

We fight…together.