If you can be anything, FFS DON’T BE SLOW!

Listen first thing first, am I a calm and collected person in general in life? no, but alot of things that trigger me, I don’t really express it to the world, I just get triggered internally and I let it pass, but slowness! LORD! it can make me go from 0 to 100!

I’ll give you example of slowness that pisses me off, yesterday I was at a resort and I went with my sister and two kids and she have Privilee app (family account) which would give her entrance to (mom, dad, 2 kids) but in theory its 4 people, 4 heads of humans that will walk through the door, so what difference does it make for Privilee or for the hotel if the dad is “Me!” no no no….sorry maam we can’t do this! you need to pay 200 AED, huh? okay I’ll pay but can you tell me what difference does it make from a logistical aspect? she said maam it’s the company policy, i said okay i understand but my sister paid for a membership of 4 people and we are four people so what difference does it make? No sorry maam we cannot.

I paid 200 dirhams, she said do you need a reciept maam? I said no thank you I don’t want anything to remind me of the heart pain that you just caused me, and she laughed and I laughed and I’m 200 dirhams poorer thank you very much.

Then we go put our stuff and I head out with the Nanny to get towels, we go to the guy and give 2 towel vouchers and I say I need 5 beach towels please, as we are 3 adults and 2 kids, he say uhhhh 3 adults so i need another voucher, i said why? what difference does it make, I gave you two vouchers I’m telling you we are 5 humans, give me 5 towels, he says no maam for the third adult I need the third voucher.
I say okay forget about the third adult, I need two towels for myself one for the beach and one for the shower, he said okay maam here you go.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! if i wasn’t in dubai i’d probably be throwing punches!!! the STUPIDNESS!!!!! I can’t! I just can’t!

And I deal with this every day in my life! the slowness that makes me want to bang my heads against walls, literally! like I physically feel like I need to bang my head and just relieve myself from the misery.

Another example, my manager at the Corp where I worked, so they had this unspoken agreement where the developers under the old management ruling were working from home two days a week, and then with new management it became one, on friday they WFH.

For my manager he’s the only one in the entire organization that allowed flexibility, but it was a none official flexibility, and also you need to lie and he’ll always approve whatever you say, so I always need to have a reason why I need to work from home, so almost every week I had something wrong going in my home, the AC, a leakage, my car battery, I get sick very frequently (not true), migraine (i didn’t have migraine then but i actually developed one last week so I manifested it hahaha), anything and everything! and he always responds: Sure no worries take care hahaha so we both know that I’m lying and we’re just okay with it.

One day he sends us a picture on a Friday morning a picture of our department section on Friday at 9:30 and its empty! out of a team of 12 only one person was there, he’s saying that the management made comments about this, why is no body is in the office? so I shifted my lies from Friday to another mid-week day, so it’s more convenient for the management.

You know what pisses me off, is that on Friday, people reach office by 10ish, then they go Friday prayer, then they come back for an hour lunch break, then from 4–6 almost no body works and every body goes to the world’s most disgusting canteen where I actually checked images of Dubai central prison canteen and wallah it looks nicer! not even kidding! and that canteen I’d rather F my self before going there to “have fun” as “fun” and “canteen” cannot come in the same sentence for me.

So unfortunately I’d be the only one who barely leaves the desk, as where would I go? the corp is in the middle of the desert literally, the world’s most disgusting canteen, and no other place to chill! so for them Friday is a day where no body do any work but they “Exist” and for me Friday is the day I’d be forced to sit behind my desk counting every minute as if its a gazillion year while everybody is not working next to me and chitchatting, and to be fair even though they were nice people, my team were nice, but I just didn’t want to make friends!

I literally had zero interest in knowing about them anything, or saying anything about me, and I don’t want to know what you did on your weekend, because for the last year I was so depressed that the only thing I saw on my weekend is Netflix asking me “Are you still watching?” while I was drooling on the sofa during my mid day/evening nap.
So it’s not enough that i need to lie to WFH but also Lie to make myself sound interesting with my fake weekend activities.

Anyways how is that related to slowness, it’s not related hahah I was just writing about slowness and then this incident came into my mind as things that trigger me, so I threw it in! haha! but actually it does kind of relate! because COMPANY POLICIES!

So fucking annoying! when i got the job I asked my manager, is there any flexibility, he said no we need to be in the office 9 hours- one of them is lunch break, I said okay can i skip lunch break and leave in 8 hours, he said no no company policy we can’t do that (but he was a sweet man so he actualy didn’t mind but cannot say it officially) so anyways I asked if I can then come by 7:30 AM and leave by 4:30 PM, as I already wake up super early so might as well, he said okay deal.

I do that for my first month, and the one day The Evil **Knievel, also goes by Cruella De Vil **who I mentioned in here, where she was bullying all the women in the office, so yeah she saw a fresh target! a girl that looks the most innocent of them all (Me!) so I hear her with my own ears telling my manager and another senior person in the office that I’m not working, I’m skipping work for 2 HOURS!!!

but I don’t do this bullshit of gossips and back stabbing, so once she finished her convo of talking shit about me (without even knowing me at all) I directly asked for a meeting with my manager, and said listen bro! I heard it all, so WTF?? (obvs in a professional terms) he said no no she wasn’t talking about you bla bla bla, anyways I’m smart enough to understand the dynamic of this corp, and I have bills to pay and I have demons to fight, so I have no energy for Cruella.

So I stopped coming by 7:30 AM, I actually started coming by 9–9:30 but because majority of the team doesn’t come before 10, they didn’t even know that I stopped coming super early, so in their minds they thought i still come super early, and I’m leaving by 5.

The dynamic of this Corp just like any other corp, they just want you to physically “exist” behind your screen, that’s it! it doesn’t matter if you work, don’t work, if you spend your day talking about your ancestors, office gossips, disgusting canteen hangouts…it’s okay! you just need to “Exist” here! as thats how we measure your value!!!.

And even though I used to get alot of eyes for leaving at 5 pm! as everyone stays over time hahah! over time to be useless, so yeah let me go back home by 8 pm after a full day of being useless but heyyy i work 12 hours!!!! I”M SOOO DEDICATED!!!! anyways fuck that not even cruella could stopped me from leaving by 5, even though when she spots me walking out at 5 pm she always shouts “Bye LIN!!!!” and I’m like bitch! I literally sit 1 meter away from my manager, I can’t even leave without him seeing me packing my stuff so what are you even trying to do.

Anyways folks, don’t feel sorry for me, there’s no rest for the wicked! so even though I was on energy conservation mode for 8 months out of my 9 months term there, but i made my exit Iconic, and I slayed the bully Cruella! and it was the first time in history that someone shouts to her face “GET OUT!!!!” that the entire office of 100 people froze for that moment, I kicked her out from her managers office and she dragged her self and went out, because here’s the thing! she doesn’t know what I’m capable of!

she’s so used of bullying other weak humans that she saw me as a yet another victim, but I was a trojan horse sitting between them, not interacting, not talking, I have my headphones on, I barely talk and if i do, its few nods and mhm, and yes, and oh wow! and i go back to existing and staring at my screen for 9 hours a day, so she would’ve never saw that coming! but you guys who read my stories, know me! know that I have a side of me that is the devil reincarnated! like if I actually wanted to make her my mission, I’d make her walk out crying and she’s a 48 or so old lady! like I don’t know didn’t her mom teach her to play with kids her age, why is she bullying people in early twenties and thirties?

like Cruella you have 3 kids at home! 2 of them are twins! why not put your energy to raise them? how can you be in the office 9 hours and have 3 kids and yet have energy to bully and abuse!! something’s gotta give! so I can bet my fortune that she’s a horrible mom too (ay that 2k fortune is on the line).

Anyways I went into another rant, just to say corporate policies make ZERO SENSE!!! SLOWNESS MAKE ZERO SENSE!!!

I even have someone who “vapes” a special kind of vape (you know what I’m saying don’t be slow) so that person thinks that Allaahhh such a good idea to vape when we sit and talk, and that person doesn’t realise that that vape make you slow and dumb as fuck! like literally a train can pass on that person and the person would be saying “ Ahh what a nice massage” that kind of vibe, so what happens is! I lose my shit! because I don’t enjoy those disgusting things! I don’t enjoy the human I become! and if anything everytime I try such vices:
Green grass and vapes = I just get insanely sleepy I can’t open my eyes so i end up sleeping in my spot while everyone around me enjoys life.
Alcohol = I rarely drink it so when I do, one beer can make me tipsy, being tipsy is fun for like half an hour and then i feel dehydrated, if i drink more — then I throw up all over the place literally ALL OVER THE PLACE, and on myself and others. FUN!

So when that human vapes and becomes slow, wallah I feel like I want to smack the shit out of them and its becoming suchh a regular habit that honestly almost every single time we hang out its the same! in their perspective thats the only time after a hectic day to relax and chill, and for me I’d be banging my head against walls, like wait wait let me tell you how crazy the slowness gets:

We were talking about harassment and stuff so I told them about my harassment story, how the 45 year old company founder was grooming me and I was the most junior of them all, what do that person say:
Ehhh!! why not? Maybe he liked you!!!!is he not good looking???

I said are you stupid??? he’s more than 20 years older than me! WHY THE FUCK HE WOULD BE INTERESTED IN ME! WHY THE FUCK I”D BE INTERESTED IN HIM IN RETURN!!!! he’s clearly a psychopath! and about “good looking” I’d literally choose wearing a chastity belt for the rest of my life over being with that disgusting man.

and that person started laughing….because they know they become so dumb on vape, so they know its illogical what they are saying, but it’s that level of dumbness they reach and I find myself yet again wanting to throw punches, but again I live in Dubai :)

Okay bottom line after writing this, I realised I really need some sort of martial arts, I clearly need to throw punches in a controlled and legal environment, so yeah I shall do that, thanks for being a great audience for my story that I’m writing at 2:30 am because I slept by 8 pm :)

Don’t be slow!

Peace out!