Protected By A Shade Of A Man

I don’t know if this is an Asian/African kind of thing or if its global, but oh my goodness the obsession with asking if I’m single or not? Traveling alone or not?

And when I was younger and I’d say an immature traveller, I used to say the truth, that yes I am single and I am traveling solo, but then through experience I realised that its waaaay easier and waaay less headache for me to just lie and say that I’m here with my boyfriend and I’m just about to go meet him now :)

Because those who ask they are not like my tour guide who I’m spending hours with and I may meet again, no no absolute strangers in the street, first question is where I’m from, second question is if I’m Single UGHHHHHHHHH

So today I was walking in my neighborhood and looking at the restaurants to see what I’m in the mood for, while I was walking slowly and looking at a place, right next to it there was an old man with barely any teeth and a red dot in the middle of his forehead, sitting infront of his Thanka shop and he said:
Namaste!!! Yes yes this place (pointing at the the shop next to him) have good momos.

So I smiled to him and said yeah I’ll go try, and I actually went into the restaurant and sat down, 2 minutes in he came in to talk to me, it was a small resto literally 2 tables only and maybe he owns the place and the thanka shop next to it, or maybe he’a what we call in Aleppian “M3laaaaa2” sorry can’t translate.

Anyways, he said are you American? I said no. He said European? I said no…I’m Syrian.

His face twisted, he wasn’t too sure he knows where it is but he said Syria, Lebanon..Vietnam? Hahaha clearly uncle skipped Geography class at school, so I explained that yes Syria and Lebanon neighbors, and I’m Arab.

His face got twister further….”But you don’t look Arabian”…I asked what do I look like? He said American or European but not Arabian at all!

He asked: Muslim?

I said yes, and his face got twisted even further! It’s like he couldn’t believe what he’s hearing! And I explained to him that you know us Arabs have very diverse looks, we don’t all look the same (but what’s the point he’s clearly brainwashed by mainstream news).

Anyways I wanted to wrap up the convo, so I told him he looks Nepali and I was giggling (because clearly I’m sarcastic) he started laughing too, and then I shifted my focus to the menu to see what to order, but he didn’t get the hint, so I ordered and then looked at him again, and he started asking me how long I’m here for, and I said months and that I’ve been here 6 times already (I say that because 80% of people in the street ask that question to offer their touristic services, but when I say its my sixth time they don’t bother me as they know I’ve seen it all), so he kept on yapping then he went back to this shop.

20 minutes in, as I was eating, he comes back shouting in excitement, how was the food??? And I say yeah its good, and then he hit me with the next one :)
Are you single???? I said no I have a boyfriend, he said where is he? I said he’s also here with me in Kathmandu.

Granpa wasn’t so pleased to know that I’m not single for whatever reason that I don’t want to even think about, he said oh boyfriend also Syrian? I said yes he is :)

I don’t know what he mumbled next but I completely lost interest and my face shows, so I went on my phone and he went and sat down on a chair in the corner, then when he lost hope of me interacting again, he left.

And I paid and left without passing by infront of his shop to not be dragged into yet another conversation. You see the Nepali people are sooo friendly, honestly I’ve never met as kind and friendly as they are and majority actually strike a conversation just because they are curious about me, or anyone who looks different, and I’m actually quite chitchatty and I love cracking jokes with them, like when I go into a shop and he starts a convo, I actually stand and chitchat, I don’t dismiss it, because its harmless and its fun for them and we just laugh together and then I leave.

But when I get asked if I’m single it pisses me off! And it actually brings my guard up, like after that question gets asked, my brain shifts from being in my normal chill sarcastic mode, to defense immediately, and while I try to keep my manners the same but I shut down like I lose any interest in any further conversation.

Because sooo many times in my life, I’ve been asked that question and more times than I like when I said the truth, it was as if I gave those men a green light to try and make a move on me! WTF! Some are literally my dad’s age, where do these men get the confidence? Like honestly how in their head they think this may go? Like what are the odds? I don’t get it!

So this uncle barely even had teeth and yet he wants to know if I’m single or not, so annoying! And its even more annoying that I need to lie to create a fake sense of protection, so they’d fear consequences,

But truth is they shouldn’t fear a man in the shadow who I claim is a boyfriend, they shouldn’t fear me! Because the men that passed in my life were useless as fuck! But me! Bruh! I’m the one you bring to fights, like we may get beaten up seeing my tiny size, but we go down fighting!

Those who dared in the past to cross the boundaries I literally made them regret even talking to a girl in the street like that.

Last time I was in Kathmandu this last December, it was 6:30 am! And I was meeting up with my tour guide, so I thought I’d go grab some coffee until he comes, it was a Saturday morning in Thamel and clearly the party people haven’t gone to sleep yet. So I had my coffee in a 24/7 cafe, and then I stood outside to wait for my guide, mind you its morning and its already light outside, and its freezing cold and I’m wearing multi layers, so there’s nothing showing from me but my nose!

A guy who was also in the same cafe with his friends, comes out sipping on his coke and he says:
“Do you want to go with me? How much?”

And I look at him the look of disgust, and I say:
Are you blind? Like what did you see in me that gave you the idea that I’d charge money to go with you?

Are you stupid or what? And also I’m a guest in your country is this how you represent your people?

He started mumbling, that oh I’m not from here and I wanted to ask you if you know where to go bla bla bla

And I lost my shit! Because it would have been better for him to just walk off after I cussed him, but to stay there and act stupid? Yoooo I’ve lost it! My shouting reached mount everest, he didn’t know what to do with himself, people in the streets were looking but mind you most are drunk and its very common for people to fight while drink so no body bothered and I didn’t need help anyways :) when did any man in the street come to help me? They are useless as fuck! That gender literally in their current day and age probably have zero testosterone, chivalry is dead.

And don’t tell me don’t generalize, because unfortunately I have been through waaaaaaaayyy too many unfortunate encounter than I like, and each encounter everyone proved useless! Both others, police, higher ups at work, ceos, you name it! Everyone acts like an Ostrich, they burry their head in the ground and if they can’t see it then it doesn’t exist.

Anyways fuck that! And fuck men who fall into the above description, honestly its so sad that I can think of over 10 women around me who are super strong and can take care of everything, and not even one man comes to my mind! Useless fucks.

And yet! I have to lie about having one of those useless fucks in my life, so I’d avoid other disgusting men making a move on me.

Kmt, how does that even make sense? Walla I don’t know, so annoying that’s all I know.

Anyways, bed time 9:24 pm 😂.

Peace out!