That’s Not Dating..That’s Torture!
Bruh! I just got notified on my phone about this Medium article, and I started reading curious to see what this will lead from the title…then…scenario one, scenario two, scenario three….huh?
What the actual fuck! no please go read it first and then come here, lets give brother Tomas some love.
But what on earth! is this normal? does this sound normal? I got exhausted and I’m not even in that relationship!
So with everything going on life, all the darkness around us, all the daily struggles, all the adult stuff we need to do on a daily basis to survive, all the dishes to wash in the sink, all the bills to pay, all the aging parents we need to take care of, all of our friends who are going through shit that we need to show up for….etc.
You need me on top of all of that, to make all of that effort, to try and understand why the fuck you are not responding to me when you are interested.
but if I don’t reach out, then you don’t, and if i do reach out then you are interested but nothing happens, and if I do plan to meet in person then you meet me but then nothing happens but you are interested….and I need to become a psychic with a mystic ball to be able to figure out what shit you need in life, just so I can…..date you?
Huh?!
Wait…listen I wasn’t the most fortunate in love, and I’m veryyyy traditional and old fashioned in a way that I like to meet people organically, life happens that put us together, sparks happen, potential match.
I don’t do this online dating shit, I don’t swipe right and left, I didt try it…it made me feel inhumane! like I cannot be reducing the humans infront of me to just a vain picture and judge based on that if I am falling in love with you or not….yuck!
But since when this became the norm, articles like this above…this sound distopian to me! like this cannot be real! the amount of effort required…for what? like what added value are you brining to my life for me to go through all of this trouble.
No and the end solution in that article was:
Your job is not to make them move toward you.
Your job is to become so regulated, so coherent, so genuinely non-attached that connection can develop naturally if it’s meant to — without you forcing it.
WHAT!!!!!!!
Okay here’s my personal take love, first of all, all of these labels that people started adopting are just excuses for pathetic humans that don’t want to take ownership.
“Emotionally unavailable — Avoidant- Attachment and detachment types…etc” what are even these? where were they before the age of internet when people used to just meet and love, and experience life together with its good and bad?
What are those fucking labels that became what majority of people nowadays identify themselves with:
“I’m avoidant”….okay? are you going to do anything about it? or is that like what the hype is now? like does this mysterious not giving a fuck nonchalant vibe is what people should become now to be considered “cool”?
Like yeah let me get rid of everything that makes me Human! all the passion, all the love, all the joy, all the madness, all the chaos….everything that makes me the divine human that I am…and I’ll just be …. Meh.
because it makes others think I’m “Mysterious and hard to get”
Fuck that! unfortunately that was what I attracted in life, to be honest! people who just love the chase and the games and when it becomes anything that is remotely close to “something real”…Byeeeee feliciaaaaaa
But its not their hard to get attitude that makes me interested not at all, it just happened that the funniest ones, the most adventurous ones, the smartest ones..which is what my type is, happen to be….this 👆
“Emotionally not available”
But is that even a thing? like physiologically where did the emotions go? if I bring a torch and burn you up, would you shout from pain, or would you stand there nonchalant because you have no emotions, ofcourse the first one logically….so why when it comes to relationships you decide to use that boring ass label to identify with?
How boring that life is! how sad it is that people choose the boredom! the nothingness! the meaningless hookups! the games! the chase…over a potential of life changing meaningful relationship that we both need.
Anyways that article pissed me off so I came to rant, and I think I broke the pattern, I think I’m out of that disguting cycle, But i can’t be 100% sure until the next fucked up “Avoidant” comes my way and then I’d know, based on how I’d act.
But here’s what I can tell you, getting to know people should be fun! having feelings is one of the most beautiful things that makes you human, getting messages from someone you are interested in and actually responding back because you are already holding your phone is maturity.
Instead of reading and deciding to respond in few hours because you’re “unavailable”.
I’m actually way more impressed with those who respond quick.
Because the bitches don’t realise that I can see them in their day to day life holding their phone and checking it every few minute and whenever it buzz’s they look at the screen, so why when I send a message….they don’t see it until hours later, and make up some shit excuse?
And when I pull away because I’m not interested in the games…thats when they come begging for my attention! and when I give the attention again because…hello! I don’t play games! you want to get to know me, then get to fucking know me! you don’t want to! then don’t waste my time I’d rather be watching Bridgeton and fantasing about romance instead of this modern time shit dating.
I hate it….I absolutely hate it! when people tell me I need to go on the apps, I shiver in disgust…because I tried it for like half an hour last month and I exited and deleted the app forever:)
Everybody complains about how hard it is finding love nowadays and yet no body is even trying to be geniune! just try be yourself! just try say what you actually want to say and not give mixed signals! just try to actually care if you are interested! and not ignore them and then think about them for hours what are they up to! just message and ask what are they up to!
Real connection cannot happen if the approach is fake! so if you are not true to yourself and to the other person….how would you find love?
I don’t know fam! I’m just as frustrated! because I’m so geniune, so real! I have zero games, I only play and flirt if I’m interested, and if i’m not interested then from the first hour I make sure the person infront of me is very aware so they don’t catch feelings, as I hate nothing more than hooking people and letting them dwell behind me…they are humans just like me…why would I be the cause to their misery, just so I can feel good about myself?
Fuck it! I am not tolerating this nonsense…Avoidant hahha. okay sure baby good for you….well let me avoid you too then because this girl right here is too old for this rubbish.
Turning off medium notifications as clearly the algorithm has absolutely zero clue what I’m actually interested in.
Peace out!
