The Life of The Joker
Sigh…..literally I actually sighed before even writing it haha! But because honestly…what the actual fuck fam!
You know I manifest everything that I say, wallah thats what i realised to the extent that I became so scared now to utter out any words, in a joking way, or even singing them in a song as somehow whopppppp and here it is!
But how come this doesn’t work for money, god? When will the cash start flowing in fam? How many times do i need to say “Billionaire” for me to manifest it?
Ya akhi not the billions…can we at least settle the bank debt please? I ran out of excuses to tell Citibank…how many family members can die in such short notice?🤭
Hahaha that is btw exactly how I talk to god, we banter! Because honestly I’m not really sure if we all have the same god, but mine love jokes! Loves to throw me challenges just so they on top sit and laugh, I know it! I know it, i don’t need any confirmations or an afterlife for me to say I told you so!
No no….it’s so clear! He created me and decided, yeah…this one is where we get the comedy from!
Because i bet it gets so intense up there…all the misery, wars, bloodshed, disasters, deaths, heart breaks…how else would they blowoff steam?
Comedy of course!!!
And It used to make me sooo angry, soooo angry! Like WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK! this cannot be one lifetime of one human! Not even!
I’m only 33! How can all of this happen! How can every single day in my life something happens?
Even when I’m sitting on my sofa not bothering anyone, not even my internet is on.
Something happens!
But the frequency is too much for me to stay angry, like I can’t even possibly, because as a character I’m very silly! Like veryyyy silly! Even when I’m alone…very silly!
So i get angryyy and I shout and then some joke would be dying to come out, so i release it and we all laugh.
But I wasn’t so sure before that I was the “comedy of choice” for the divine squad, so I used to think I’m unfortunate! Unlucky!
Whatever it is…definitely not blessed.
But then…after years and years of misery (or comedy if you may) i started laughing.
They throw me the obstacles and I laugh, i laugh on the irony, the frequency, the randomness!
I just laugh!
But I wasn’t always like this… I will never ever forget this in my life.
I was in a scout camp, I remember it so clearly, an incident that lives so vividly in my brain 20 years later.
We went on a hike all the troops, and after lunch everyone was sitting chitchatting, playing around, I mean i was 5th grade so everyone so young.
And the Chief calls me, she was sitting with the guides (we call them guides mainly the women who are older, university age and older who take care of us)
The chief, who didn’t even know what my name is:
Asked me whats your name? She was being kind, smiling to my face…I told her “Leen”
She said Leen, why you are unhappy? I’ve been looking at you for a while now and I noticed that you don’t smile.
I was sooo embarassed when she said that! So nervous, so exposed…they were a group of adult and I was just tiny shy “me”.
She said, go on smile…show me how you smile, and I tried to…Wait I minute! Why can’t i do what she’s saying…Huh? Its just a smile! Its second nature….I force something that felt like a weird muscle spam, she probably said something like “there you go! Beautiful smile! Keep on smiling kid”
I mumbled something…and ran back to sit with the kids, I don’t want to call them friends, because they weren’t, I didn’t have friends at scout, I never liked any body when I was young there,
Anyways what’s sad is…that incident was engraved in my soul, that when I became older I went back to see pictures from that specific scout camp.
And I saw….I didn’t know how to smile.
No seriously! You may think second nature…Honestly in the pictures it looked like as if I physically didn’t know! Its like i was trying to do a specific mouth movement that looks like smiling, but didn’t know how to! It looked more like a facial muscle spasm…no joke!
I DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO SMILE!
Now how is that possible? I don’t know! Because when i was a toddler, I was smiling…i have proof, I knew how to do it.
But then elementary school….I’ve lost my smile.
Fuck man…writing this makes my tears stream, because god how much I wish there was a thing that allows me to go back and just hug my younger self, that little fragile, misunderstood, shy kid who doesn’t know how to smile.
I won’t go into details as if to why I lost my ability to smile, or more like I forgot how to…but lets just say, I grew up waaaay too young, waayyyy tooo young.
And thats why now when people who don’t see how silly I am, and just see my wise/serious side.
They call me an old soul, they get shocked with the wisdom I drop.
Well fam….I grew up way too young.
Reality smacked me in the face way too young, I carried responsibility way too young, I started escaping way too young, I learned to be quiet wayyy too young, I understood….way too young.
So in a camp of kids who were just goofing around, I was there sitting, not crying or anything…but just existing a miserable existence that it was soo obvious to those stranger adults.
Well, my parents never saw it…if i even go tell them this above, they’d debunk it!
Like no what are you even talking about! You used to smile and laugh alot….really?
Is it me, or is that in your mind showing you and image of what you by default think kids look like so your brain reflected the same image on me, even though those facts weren’t actually mine?
Anyways whats the point in talking, explaining….its a lifetime that passed.
So I carried responsibility at a very young age, I chose to…no body asked me to! But I chose to, or maybe god was there carrying it with me so I’ve managed to carry all of that weight.
But I wasn’t a silly kid, I was a responsible human trapped in a tiny kid’s body.
My mom wasn’t present, she was soo occupied fighting battles outside to make sure we survive, and dad was in another country, existing.
So no body was there to guide me, to light the way infront of me…and my sister was an absolute mess! That even with my young age, I looked and realised…that is so messed up, I don’t want to be like that.
So i started lighting up my own path…I was the only kid between my friends who my mom never said “no” for an outing, it was always a yes that my friend’s parents used to get aggitated because my friends would go eat their brains that Leen’s mom said yes! Why are you like this!
Well their parents were “present” mine wasn’t, so for mine whether I’m at home or not…doesn’t matter as she’s not there anyways, so it’s a “yes”!
Can you take a minute and think…what can that mean? The disasters that can take place for a kid to have ultimate freedom, no supervision, nothing! I could’ve easily fell into drugs, smoking, alcohol, self harm, abuse by older men…anything!!!!
Well…Nothing happened :)
I light up my own path, i guided myself to the right path…I didn’t talk to guys that seemed trash or I felt had bad intentions, I didn’t like alcohol, smoking and thank god drugs weren’t even a thing in syria back then (i mean maybe onlyyyy for the elite and selected few) but for us the normal public, its not easily attainable for it to reach a kid like me.
I survived on my own, and i started growing and my responsibility growing…however! I started smiling, my friends made me smile…they reminded me how to smile again, because they were so silly just like who I initially was, that they reminded me of who i am.
And i just started laughing! That was my release! The jokes! The comedy! I became the funniest one in the bunch! The wittiest! Like before they even finish the sentence, my jokes hit! And we all crack up!
To the extent that I had anger issues! Like proper proper anger issues! And I shout and they laugh! They laugh because I was so silly and a jokester that they stopped being able to take my anger seriously…so i get angry…they laugh…I get frustrated…then I join the laughter.
So it literally started with scout years, hated every single minute of it.
It happens every friday and every single damn friday i cried not wanting to go (for years). Literally from 4th grade to 11th, every Friday I cry!
it was torture literally, my weekly torture session because “mom and sister” dreamt of being scouts girls when they were young…they didn’t get the chance, so I’m the tribute!
The ungrateful tribute! I was begging to go play basketball instead, I loved Basketball! I had school friends who go, I already had friends there…but basketball timing was Friday! Exactly the same time as scout.
My mom never understood! why on earth you don’t like Scouts Leeno! You are so ungrateful! Others die to be in your spot.
Well how about you bring the others to my spot mom? Because I personally am dying to not be part of this weekly torture ritual.
But she kept on ignoring my cries, she said I’m too short for basketball…as If I’m being drafted for the NBA!
Woman I just wanted to shoot hoops! I have too much energy to be sitting weakly in circle where the guides choose a topic and all of us neat looking polite girls sit and discuss.
Mom wanted me to be that presentable, clean looking, put together lady of the society.
And I was….a gangsta! I remember it soo clearly we had this 1 hour after school where we gather all of us kids from “Bus number 4” who we all gather so when its time, the teacher assistant send us to the bus to drop us home, so it wasn’t a class! it was chaos! the jungles! all the fights all the hair pulling, the punches…used to happen at that 1 hour bus gathering class.
So there was this boy who is older than me maybe a year, and he was the school’s lead gangsta, we called him based on his last name “Fattal” just like they used to call me “Jabri” its more powerful like that 😂 anyways! everyone used to fear fattal and he used to live in the same hood as me! so one day fattal was being arrogant, sitting in that class hitting this, messing with that with his cheerleaders all around.
And i said…let’s arm wrestle! he looked at me and laughed, his cheersquad LOLed! the girls gasped! is she crazy or what! she’ll get beaten up by the school biggest bully! all the boys used to get beaten up by fattal. dude! i just noticed his name for a western sounds like “Fatal” well he is: fattaaaal.
anyways he accepted, arrogantly…and we linked our hands and the counting started. 3..2…1.
pressure!!! we are both putting all of our strength…fattal turned red! I definitely turned even redder! everyone is cheering! even the teacher assistant is watching….the kids shouting!!! cheering for fattal!! but wait a minute…why isn’t fattal winning? it should take seconds to distroy someone in arm wrestling…why are we over 25 seconds in now???
The cheering turned into silence….disbelief…..fattal’s facial expressions show the amount of power he’s putting in….and yet….I’m just as strong.
A minute in! we both gave up! at the exact same moment! he didn’t win, I didn’t win! the crowd’s broke in cheering! laughter! disbelief! and that was the beginning of my “Bully” era! I became the unbeatable “Jabri” the story spread like fire….there’s a girl who fattal couldn’t beat! I became famous!
Ironically a year after I became friends with fattal’s sisters but they live in a building where all the building is the “Fattal” family so all the cousins are there too…so there waas alloooot of fattal and cousins kids…
and that became my hangout spot! we roamed the streets every single day after school! we were the gang of the hood! boys and girls! always up to some stupid shit! I still remember the day I was in the streets playing and my aunt came from her travels, and when she saw me…she didn’t know how to hug me! as I had like that black cars oil…all over me!
so she said she’ll see me later hahaha.
Don’t ask me now what i was doing! Me and street gang were always on missions…so maybe it was a mission so secretive i don’t remember what it is.
Thats who I was…thats who i still am! A gangsta from the streets!
And while my mom was a lady of society, having her hair done at the salon twice a week after every single bath for her entire life, until this day!
And my sister the elitist of the elite was and still is a lady of society…Bridgeton! 🤣
I was and still am! A streets kid! I travel to villages not resorts, I sleep in my car carelessly! I don’t even care about comfort! I walk barefoot, I hang out with the poorest on the streets, whether the young or the old! We always have something in common…our freedom and love for a good laugh!
I tried waaay moreee streeet food types than fine dining spots, i search for the weirdest, remotest places and I go throw myself there sometimes with no plan just my street survival skills.
My mom wanted for me what she didn’t get the chance to do as a kid, as her parents never cared or even was here to sign her up for things, they left to saudi both of them and they left all their kids but one (the youngest) they were all left with their grandma…6 kids minimal supervision, so who will even sign up mom for scout and pay the fees?
And my sister when we moved back to syria from saudi she was too old to enroll, as they only accept 4th graders and you move up.
You can’t enroll when you are 6 grade like my sister was, so all of her friends she met later were in scout, and she always felt left out…dying to join, unable to! And I’m the ungrateful little bitch who cries not wanting to go.
Lol! “Her friends” which still are the same type of friends she have now, actually some of them are literally the same girls from scout, the ones i never liked! I actually hate spending even a minute with, my sister’s birthday is the annual event where its my nightmare…but khalas I broke free! I told her its hell for me! so why can’t I just celebrate her with the kids! why do I need to be there and tortured and she’d see it and instead of enjoying her birthday, she’d keep on coming checking on me, as she knows I’m left in the wild….the wild wild west of influencers 😂
And I’m the jokster, the storyteller who doesn’t run out of words or jokes, when I hang out with her people, I sit there quiet….too quiet that my sister says I’m autistic :)
well it was a joke while growing up she calls me autistic, because i was more introverted, she was extroverted…so yeah!
Because what would i say? I have nothing in common with them? and trust me I tried! but they are so mean! I was a bully because I didn’t know any better but now I know and I lived a life time trying to fix it.
But they are mid 30’s and still bullies…I’ll never forget one birthday for my sister and here on this one she invited 3 of my friends with me…just so I can come! I dind’t ask her to! but she really wanted me to come so she told me bring X with you, and come. I was like okay…the suffering is less.
it was a fancy desert kind of birthday, I’ll never forget how mean her “friends” are…wow! its like beyond imagination.
First of all! the lack of any mannerism! she introduce me to them! and they gasp! like wait what!!! you’re actually the sister! the sister of this DIVA! the disgust on their faces….actual disgust fam! I mean..yeah I don’t look like my sister but I surely don’t look disgusting! but ofcourse in their books, the books of fake…..the humans or look natural….look abnormal!
OMG it just came to my mind! the best way to discribe it! my sister and her friends are the people of the capitol in hunger games.
And I’m the tribute from District 12 :)
No matter how much I try to be nice and to open a conversation with them , all of my stories are from the streets!
The streets that their feet never touched as their Louboutin’s is too clean to be touching such streets…and I roll in dirt and literally just last month I laid down in a tea field! Just like that! Out in the open! On the dirt and dust! Well my back was hurting from that gigantic backpack which it wasn’t part of the plan to hike with it up hill for around 40 mins after being kicked out from an ashram 🤣🤣! Bruh’ you see! comedy!
Imagine people go to ashrams for peace! and I go and somehow I get into a fight and I get kicked out! but it wasn’t even my fault!!!!! the it’s that “fake” yogi woman who runs the ashram, I’ve never met such entitled little brat ever in my life…she doesn’t know what peace is! that woman got divorced before 1 month of her baby being born…who does that! like you’ve been with a man for years, and you decided the’s worthy enough to have a baby, and then you don’t even wait when you’re in the 8th month of pregrancy to at least deliver and think..whether those emotions may be hormonal or not.
No! lets get divorced and you shall never see your child! hahah! so…I just pointed out that she’s fake :) not due to her personal life…why the fuck do I care! but to everything I saw in her, I pointed out every single thing they did wrong as “hosts” in a place where it should be “hospitality” so she started a fight with me….me! Leen! can you imagine someone dared!
I was having my breakfast in peace and she came kept on pushing me fight…I didn’t I was laughing, when she saw she can’t get me to fight, she started shouting! saying I’m full of shit! fuck you! bla bla bla…and she triggered the beast! I swear if her father the Guru wasn’t sitting on that table and I respected him and his wife, not only due to their status but also their age, and I respect my elderlies.
I swear I would have flipped the table literally on her head with all the plates that were on it, and punched the shit out of her.
Because there I wasn’t in dubai….I was in the wild! and I come from the streets! so if you dare mess with me, then I’ll beat the fuck out of you! it doesn’t matter how tiny I am! you have no idea how strong I am….bruh! Fattal himself couldn’t beat me! let alone a chubby fake yogi called “Jessica” ugh…I shiver in disgust.
Anyways I just banged my hands on the table, shouted louder, cussed her, her family, Osho, and the entire sect! packed my stuff in a record of 5 minutes…and I took that 40 KG backpack and dragged my self out up hill to the nothingness! as the place is slightly remote…so I found myself laying down in the fields…just like that.
It’s comedy!!!!!! That trip to Nepal is pure comedy! And that has been my entire life! But because I’m active now on the gram so the people tagged along….I’m the source of entertainment that with my very small following but I built a loyal audience 🤣
my friends literally pile up my stories till their chill time, after they put their kids to bed…so they can see what the hell is Leen doing! What mess did she get into!
Can you imagine thats me at 33, can you imagine what energy I had when i was 10 years old! How did my mom not see that! That I’m too energetic to sit in discussion groups! Too mischievous to speak politely! Too rouge to be a society lady! Too free to be conditioned!
And thats why it’s soo hard to find a life partner….i mean I’m 33 so that person is either my age, older or slightly younger (Hello! I’m not Priyanka Chopra).
So what responsible adult in their 30’s will go roll in the dirt with me hhahah! I am probably the most one out of my friends here in Dubai that either ended up in a police station, or got called multiple times by the police! and I’m the most innocent! I swear my troubles are seriously nothing 😂 some dumb shit I said, or silly thing I did, or someone did something and I wanted to teach them a lesson…so we do an outing to the police station.
But also thats why its to hard to impress me! So hard for me to fall in love….because everyone that comes is yet another replica of a person of “labels” “status”…ugh the boredom!
Last time I fell in love…I fell in love someone who was barefoot before I was! Someone who also comes from the high society! But I can see the rebellion! I can see the mischieve!
I can see the aching to be free! In a world where we are both caged!
I can see through the brands, the cars, the villas the noise…i can see when that piece of food fell! That person picked it up and ate it! Like i would! But no one around me does! They all throw it in trash intuitively!
Wait a minute…….so you do exist huh? But you can’t be the other Divine comedy tribute as we live in the same timezone!
And it can’t be you anyways because you don’t know that your life genre is actually comedy! Like mine! But you are still thinking that it’s:
Drama, romance, action….and even horror.
So you never learned how to laugh like me, you were frustrated like me, angry at god like me…why could this be you…but you haven’t seen yet! IT’S COMEDY!
So that person who I fell in love with, didn’t know how to keep up with the jokes, how to laugh on all the hardships, how to play with me the same game of life!
You see its very possible to be in love with a person from another genre, actually that’s the best! As you balance each other out.
But the one I fell in love with, is not from another genre, no its the same one! They’re just not aware!
And when you’re not aware….comedy will be actually horror! Because your brain will not comprehend, too intense…too dark…too much!
But…it’s called dark humor for a reason love!
Don’t blame me! I’m just a comedian, I didn’t create the play! I just learned how to play it.
So you see, it’s very rare for me to be impressed, as what impresses me is NOTHING of the likes what impresses other! Literally nothing! You won’t find it it books, personality tests, cosmopolitan magazine quizes.
Nowhere!
As there’s no one manual to life, its different to each one of us! And yet we all live as if it’s one! And we all end up frustrated! As we are playing games that are not ours to win! We are acting in genres that our personalities are not fit for that.
And that person actually giggles! When its hard, that person laughs, when is stressful, that person laughs…because that person is also “The Joker” but unaware joker.
So…it didn’t work out 🤷🏽♀️
Anyways back to my story, for responsible adults….I’m a headache! like which partner want to get a called at least 3 times a year of me being in some deep shit due to silly something I’ve done! or like SEND HELP! I GOT STUCK IN A REMOTE VILLAGE AND A STORM HAPPENED! LAND SLIDE HAPPENED! AND I’M STUCK!
That actually happened! I was volunteering in nepal years ago i went for my birthday only a week to build a school in a very veryyy remote area that the closest town the village is 3 hours by 4x4 jeep no normal car can drive as there’s no proper roads.
And I planned my trip in a way that I’d finish my volunteering and then have a full day to go back to Kathmandu so I’d have more than enough time till my flight the next day.
What happens? the strongest storm in history! I haven’t seen rain like this in my life! they started blowing the sirens for all volunteers to take shelter in the bunkers! it was too dangerous! it lasted hours! hours we are unable to go to the kitchen as it was outdoors, or toilets! (unless if you go on your own risk)
and what happened is! due to that insane rain….a landslide happened! that cut off all the route to the village! so the car that was scheduled to take me and others back to the town, cannot even reach! even if the rain stopped :)
What did I do…I go to the chief and ask to get access to the satalite internet to try and cancel my flight, as there was no connectivity in the area it’s too remote….but due to the storm even the satalite internet was lost! the antennas got wrecked! we were literally stranded.
I lost that flight….everyone was saying oh we are so sorry…and I laughed! and they couldn’t understand how can you even laugh? you literally wasted a flight…and I’m like! eh..? what can I do about it?
You see for others, such things can ruin their mood and make them upset for days….for me! I have this for breakfast! such things happen wayyyyy tooo often with me that I just laugh it off! like honestly no big deal whatsoever! it’s a fly dubai ticket! what is it 800 dirhams (since its only the return i missed) oh no actually that trip i also over slept and missed my 4 am flight going to nepal :) teehee…ok okay! did I ever say i’m the most responsible adult?? I didn’t! so why are you judging me when I’m literally telling you….I’M A MESS!! LEAVE ME ALONE!! hahaha.
How many times did I fall behind someone on a motorcyle whether in a pool of mud in Nepal behind a village uncle, or behind my friend during our group trip to bali, which I fell and then we decided it’s safer for me to ride behind the other more stable looking friend, so I go the next day behind the “More confident in driving friend” while it was raining showers we were going to the rice terraces and ended up going to the remote village clinic! as we fell and we got bruises and cuts on our legs! hahaha I laugh! we all laugh!
And we were so close to the rice terraces that we finished the clinic and drove 5 mins to the rice fields, we literally stood there for a minute…looked at each other.. you saw it? yup! yup! ok lets drive back.
until this day, whenever someone says:
“Ubud rice terraces” we say….yeah! no thanks hahahah we’ve seen enough!
Anyways! life with me is insanely fun but i think for someone to enjoy it, they need to be like me! the chosen ones for “Comedy” and so far I haven’t met someone as resilient as me…but I’m sure there is!
like I can’t be the only entertainment source for all those in the heavens? there must be shift work! what do they do when I sleep, right? so I guess someone in a different timezone surely.
I shall find you….I shall meet you.
Also thats why my niece and nephew call me their best friend! even though I keep on saying I’m not…but it’s because thats how it feels like to them, someone who is close enough, is family! and yet! the silliest alive! their little brains are always fascinated with my stories, and now they have Imessages on Icloud….so I get to transmit live hahah! all the madness!
Like when I was in the ashram last month (not the one i got kicked out from, the one after) it’s in the jungles of Kathmandu, so there are wild monkeys living between us.
One day I’m walking to my 7 am Dynamic meditation class, and i see commotion! people gathered and someone shouting and monkeys! apparently someone forgot the window to their room open and the monkeys saw the fruits inside and jumped in and were stealing the fruits and wrecking havoc in the room! the room tenant was shouting and panicking and us outside we’re just laughing! it’s sooo funny! and I took my phone out and took a video immediately and sent it to the kids.
they laugh! they can’t believe it! Celine keeps on asking me questions a month later….how did the monkey go in!!!! why is he so naughty! hahaha
Even last week! the day before they were at my place thinking that they’d be staying over for a one week sleep over with Nana and Jeddo and Leeno, the next day I’m sending them video from Ras Al Khaimah mountain of some mountain goats doing silly stuff! they were at school, they went back home saw it…and they’re like!!! where on earth are you! why don’t you take us with you!!!
Madness! it’s madness how fun my life is! I personally enjoy it alot…I learned how to enjoy it! because what do I focus on? do I focus on the fact that I had major fight with mom and dad that made me leave change plans, leave home in the evening and drive aimlessly to RAK and to be not bothered to even camp or book a hotel so I slept in my car for three days? or do I just get aggitated the first night, cry, do what i need to do to rest, and then the next day I go hike with mountain goats…like there’s always something major and negative that leads me to the comedy…but its a choice! its either I get too attached to the negative, or I accept and enjoy the comedy that unfolds.
Comedy…my life became comedy, or actually it always was! I just never knew! I never understood that It’s a comedy…so I was living it as a “drama”
And when I realised what genre my life is:
The kid who forgot how to smile…became
The Joker 🃏
And exactly how you saw in the movie….disasters happen and the joker laughs
Shit hits the fan…I laugh.
I get heart broken, okay i cry alot..but then! I laugh.
I get attacked by a gang in malaysia when I’m 20 scared shitless…but when we are out of it! We sit and we laugh! Till this day this event makes me laugh! Like what the actual fuck! How did I get attacked by a gang 3 days after landing in Malaysia for the first time in my life traveling abroad alone to study!
I went solo camping two weeks ago only to be bothered by someone and things escalate that i didn’t camp! I spent the day in the police station! 4–5 hours! Of inconvenience and annoyance…but what was I doing? I was laughing! I hit it off with the female emirati police officer, she took me in to the ladies “office” and the two brackets because its not an office its sofas and a TV playing turkish series, coffee, tea, free food! and we just sat chitchat and watched the turkish show, until the officer was done taking the testimony of the opponent.
And then when we went out, The police officers had made freshly brewed tea….so they invited me, and I sat and drank tea with them! And we laughed and talked and I told them how this is not my first time in police stations, all the crazy silly troubles I got myself in before, and we all just laughed.
While my opponent was sitting there miserable far away in the corner alone, cursing in italian (he was italian middle aged man) for his bad life choices of messing with me :)….the joker.
Doors open to me because of my jokes, people fall in love with me because of my jokes, all the bestest of friends that I made whether at school or at work or during a trip…it always started with a joke! Some silly joke that either they cracked and I tagged along, or I started it!
I still remember so clearly..when I landed the job at the agency in Dubai as an intern, that was my first ever proper office experience and i was hating it because I’m such a free bird to be trapped between four walls (well then you get used to the cage) but anyways i was quiet, polite, sweet.
Because my manager was exactly that! Super sweet and polite and quiet and I’m young and inexperienced.
So I just mimicked her as i thought thats how it should be in work office so you can become a responsible adult.
But then infront of me used to sit a Russian guy, and his friend who I jordanian from another deparrment used to sit far far away but he passes by us every single day and they used to go for lunch together.
They always used to mess with each other, guy jokes you know!
So apparently the Jordanian learned from the Russian the word “Pidor” which means “faggot”.
So our table was next to the breakfast bar, so whenever the jordanian passes by, he shouts pidor to his friend (none of the teammates bother look up what that means so no body laughed…I did)…only these two guys laughed…and I secretly giggled.
2 weeks in…and the jokes inside of me were dying to go out! I was waayy too quiet for my own liking.
So the jordanian passes, and before he said Pidor, I looked at him and shouted out loud “Pidor!!!”
And I swear it was silent and everyone died laughing! Everyone!!!! We were too big tables SEO and PPC and everyone laughed!!! Because WHERE ON EARTH DID THAT COME FROM!
and it took only that one “pidor” for these two guys to make me join their lunch break squad every single day they take me with them and its me tiny silly me and those big guys…”the pidors” and it set the tone in the office that this girl is actually not quiet and polite and nice….she’s the joker!
The rest is history! I became the jokster of the office….if you hear a group loud laughter somewhere in the office…my manager immediately would be able to allocate where I’ve disappeared to… and she shakes her head in frustation.
She always used to tell me….Please! please just sit down! sit down on your desk! I know I understsand that you finish your work super quick but others don’t! so they get too distracted! so just sit on your office and do whatever you want after you finish your work, but try to tone it down.
I couldn’t 😂 I start fidgeting!!! then I sit Up on my swivvle chair, literally my knees on the chair and start going in circle…trying to identify who is free for me to go hang out with, my boss looks at me and laughs….hopeless case!
But then I decided okay okay…okay basma i’ll let you rest! so It was hot desking right! so I can sit anywhere so I went and Identified a desk so private literally the office was so big consider it 3 offices connected, all open space.
My team sits in office number 1 (figuratively) and that private desk is in office number 3! that if basma actually wants me, then its easier for her to slack me or even call to ask me to come over 😂 but the benefits of that desk was the privacy! as it had a wall behind it!! exactly what I love! isolation! i get to do whatever the hell i want to do when I finish my work tasks.
But because people love messing with me, a girl who was my friend started competing on me for that desk! we turned something as silly as an office desk into a competiton! we had a tracker on the wall behind us who will win…15 days challenge i guess it was..who manages to arrive first and claim the desk.
And whomever arrives first sends a video to the other to piss them off hahahha
I swear to god not even joking one day! I was like…I can’t be losing i lost 2 days in a row…I came to the office at 5 am! claimed the desk put my stuff on it! sent the video.
and then went to the room that was the “UX lab” where they conduct user testing it had a sofa…and I slept! so when Marilou the office lady came in to clean around 6:30…she comes in and finding me sleeping and shouts! Leen!!!! what are you doing dear!!! hahahaha
The entire office heard of this story! ya allah madness! I was btw 27–28 when this happened, its not like I was an immature kid.
And still to this day, got a debt to the bank that I have no idea how to pay or how to sort out next months rent?
No worries fam! How about we go buy a 250 dirhams LED screen that I can customize, put it on the wall with the debt amount so we can all make jokes about it! instead of actually being a responsible adult and getting a job!
But I mean you see! I was never alone! The Divine squad chose me for comedy but didn’t leave me to struggle with the outcome, they literally know that I can just find my way out..with jokes! So we all play together and then we always end the show with a standing ovation, and everyone laughs.
So….I never understood why me? Why i was chosen for all the hardships, for all the tests, all the trials.
Well…it was just so it can give me content for new jokes! Just like how the standup comedians do!
They live and interact and try stuff so they can get content for new jokes, i sat once with who’s now a famous egyptian standup comedian and he was a friend of an ex-friend and he said…when he sits at home not doing anything, he can’t come up with jokes.
He needs to go mingle, experience, see life unfolding infront of him, so he’d be able to get inspired for new content for his shows.
To the extent that he became famous when he was doing “corporate” job as that were all the jokes came from and when he started making so much money from comedy and left the corporate office…he had a period where he didn’t know from where he’ll get the jokes now?
And without me realising…it turns out, my life is a comedy…and I’m the joker.
That’s it! No wisdom….just laughter!
Which means…the joker tattoo on my arm is not by chance :)
But who’s the queen? Is it also me? Is it someone else? Is it random?
I guess you’ll never know :)
Peace out!
